Let’s eat Grandpa.

So I found this ecard on (where else) Pinterest last week, and it reminded me, yet again, about how idiotic grammar (and spelling) mistakes are one of my life’s biggest pet peeves.
Now, I don’t profess to be anywhere near perfect when it comes to grammar, spelling, sentence construction and punctuation (Husband would like to go on record by calling me a liar), and I use and misuse my fair share of parenthesis and hyphens no question. But people – c’mon – did you or did you not graduate high school?  And to some of you (and by “you” please know that I do not necessarily mean YOU) – how??
You know who I’m talking about, though, don’t you?
The ones who do things like this on facebook &/or twitter (and I’m totally not making these up – my sister and I have been keeping a list for years now).
inbarrising = embarrassing
Oh! God it! = Oh! Got it!
redue = redo
terafied = terrified
wait a go = way to go
bored = board
guest = guessed
greatful = grateful
and the always –always – aggravating misuse of these gems:
defanately = definitely
your vs. you’re 
there vs. their vs. they’re
to vs. too 
its vs. it’s
and the possessive apostrophe – learn it.
Now, I realize most of you reading this are bloggers…writers…well-educated people and I’m preaching to the choir.  But these mistakes are infuriating, am I right?   Maybe it’s because I used to teach 4th graders these exact same rules of thumb or because I paid attention during Language Arts in elementary school, but whatever the reason, it drives me crazy.
So in case you – or someone you know – needs it, here’s a few rules.  You‘re welcome.

to vs. too
Use double ‘oo’s when you mean “always” or “a lot”.
“I want an Appletini, too!”
“That glass of wine you just poured me is too full.” (said no one ever)
your vs. you’re
Use an apostrophe when you mean “you are”.
You’re not really going to marry him, are you?”
there vs. their vs. they’re
• direction – “Look over there! It’s a bunch of naked motorcyclists!”
• a group, possesive – “Their house smells like old fish and dead rodents.”
• when you could substitute “they are” – “They’re going to get me arrested one day, I just know it.”
its, it’s
• if you can replace it with “it is” or “it has”,  use the apostrophe – “It’s amazing how little I care about what you’re saying.”
• if using the possessive (look it up), don’t – “The poor little mouse bit its own tail off to get out of the trap.”
And maybe my biggest pet peeve of all, when addressing your Christmas cards, please please please  do not put an apostrophe ‘s’ after your last name unless it ends in an ‘s’. 
If your last name is ‘Tucker’, your family is not “The Tucker‘s“!!!  You are plural – “The Tuckers”. 
And I’ll leave you with a sign I had up in my classroom way back when – 
a lot is two – TWO – words.
Who else does this bother?? ‘Fess up – I know you’re out there!

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  • Kayla Lynn - Hahaha I LOVE THIS!! Amen sister 🙂ReplyCancel

  • ~Dawn~ - I laugh hysterically at this because my husband is by far the WORST at spelling and grammer. I think he has violated every single one of your grammer/spelling pet peeves.ReplyCancel

  • Rachel - For some reason, I’m not too annoyed by the error-filled English, though I notice it, for sure! And last year, when I had a job grading papers for college seniors, I was a bit horrified and how much they didn’t know about grammar and spelling. Still, I had fun with red ink, and I thought grading was the best job in the world! Because in that situation I was allowed to point out everything that’s wrong with the way people write. But in normal life I just mentally correct them or ignore them–for most of my life, most of my friends haven’t been native English speakers (even my husband isn’t a native English speaker!) so I guess my attitude towards them kind of extends to native, but ignorant, English speakers. 😛ReplyCancel

  • Kari - your to funny. defanitely a good post you wrote over their!
    I’m with you sister. Teaching 8th grade has been amazing…and by “amazing”, I mean scary. Wish me luck!

  • moosenoose.com - The word that really makes me angry at the moment with the ‘youth of today’ (arrgghhh I’m old,) is the constant use of ‘ov’ in replace of the word ‘of’. Why? It doesn’t make sense. It is not spelt correctly, it does not abbreviate the word in any way. All it achieves is the confirmation that you are failing English. Big time.ReplyCancel

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