New Years is not my favorite today…or tomorrow.
New Years.
It’s a holiday that I feel comfortable admitting my hatred for.
I mean, I’m not a fan of Thanksgiving either, but it seems that any time I tell that little fact to people I get looks like I just admitted to hating crippled puppies or even worse – margaritas. (True story, btw…that I hate margaritas, not crippled puppies.)
But New Years is a holiday that it seems a lot of people other than myself have a distaste for.
New Year’s Eve haters of the world – Unite!
3 reasons I hate New Years:
#1 – The pressure.
There’s waaay too much pressure to do something extraordinarily fun and fabulous on New Year’s Eve. Something that puts absolutely everything you will ever do for the other 364 days of the year to SHAME. Make any other time you’ve ever gone out look like a 2nd grade-field trip.
Which means that when you are sitting at home in your jammies watching Dick Clark R.I.P.….and then Ryan Seacrest while making fun of Dick Clark R.I.P. (I know. I am a horrible, horrible person. And you know the past two years you made fun of him, too)…and are then subjected to B-list celebrities and no-talent hip-hop singers wearing dresses cut up to their hoo-haas lip-sync “Auld Lang Syne” while couples all dressed up in fancy garb wearing fun glittery hats smile and dance and kiss as balloons and confetti drop from the ceiling and the crowd goes wild in Times Square and in Disneyworld and in L.A. (pre-recorded of course, which kind of takes the wind out of that sail) and you are in your messy family room kinda drunk you feel more than a little bit inadequate and pathetic.
And hey, if I want to feel inadequate and pathetic I do not need Ryan Seacrest/Dick Clark’s R.I.P. help thankyouverymuch.
That’s what my nightly Chardonnay is for.
#2 – Resolutions.
I hate resolutions.
And I hate all the buzz about resolutions this time of year.
Listen, if you make resolutions, I’m just gonna come out and say it.
You are full of crap.
“I’m gonna work out more.” Liar.
“I’m gonna eat healthier foods.” Pants. On. Fire.
Drink less alcohol, drink more water, be kinder, volunteer more, make more time for family, organize your house/your life, watch less porn, go to church, spend less/save more….
I’m willing to bet that most of the people who love to make resolutions make the same ones year after year after year. What makes people think that the month of January is so magical? If it was magic, you’d still be running 10 miles per week and eating 4 almonds for your after dinner snack instead of that bowl of Rocky Road in October.
Resolutions? Ridiculous.
Resolutions are just an inflated way for people to feel better about themselves for a few weeks.
If you really want to do better for yourself and your life, January isn’t the answer.
February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and December (oh yes I did just type all the other months out non-abreviated-ly) – there’s your answer.
And in case you are wondering, yes I will be working out more next week and throwing out the cookies and easing up on the Chardonnay.
But I don’t call it a resolution.
I call it my-jeans-are-too-tight-and-I-need-2-months-to-lose-6-lbs.-and-then-I-totally-won’t-work-out-as-much-and-will-eat-more-cookies-and-probably-drink-more-Chardonnay-until-I-need-to-wear-a-swimsuit-or-until-my-jeans-get-too-tight-again.
Hey, I am nothing if not self-aware and can openly admit my inadequacies.
Even without Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark’s R.I.P. help.
#3 – New Years is ‘effin cold in Minnesota.
January 1st marks the beginning of the dark days for me.
If you are a new reader, please take a moment to read THIS POST. It will explain a lot about my feelings for the arctic state I live in and maybe make the posts that are sure to come in the next few months (which I somehow feel I should apologize in advance for) make a little more sense.
Wake me when it’s March. You think I’m kidding.
So what will I be doing tomorrow night on the eve of the new year??
I will be at my happy place, in my jammies, playing a board game or two and probably singing karaoke loudly and embarrassing my children.
Except for the light up New Year’s hat on my head and the special martini glass my cocktail will be in, it will be another ordinary evening with my family.
|
| My favorite martini glass. And yes, it does have a rhinestoned ball that drops. And yes, I did bring it to the cabin with me. |
And that’s the way it should be.
No glittery dress or confetti needed.
But I’ll kinda miss this guy.
 |
| Dick Clark R.I.P. |
What will you be doing?
bahahah oh my god, i laughed my way all the way through this post. NYE is actually my birthday, and every year I have always stayed home. In part because of my fear of drunkards on the road and this year we are going out. I’m excited, and if it is tame enough I could see it being a tradition. Then again, I don’t tend to stay up til midnight anyway. I usually bring in the new year with zzz.
Well, Happy Happy Birthday tomorrow! What a kind of sucky day to have a birthday. Talk about double the pressure. Geesh.
I totally forgot to mention the drunken idiots driving around on NYE – which is another reason to hate it. I hope you have a great time out, though ~ stay safe ~ celebrate a great year behind AND ahead!!
Like Celia, I fear the drunkards on the roads and I live in Alaska right now. IT IS COLD. And I have no desire to stand around outside watching fireworks. Even when I lived in Pennsylvania, it was still cold on NYE, so I never did much of anything.
You are so right on every level with this post.
THANK YOU 🙂
Kristin
P.S. If you can’t start a workout routine in the month of Feb, Mar, Apr, May, June, July, Aug, Sept, Oct, Nov, Dec, then you really don’t want to exercise. Thanks for hitting the nail on the head.
Oh, the drunken idiots! Yes! Better to be safe inside, for sure! And unless it is over 30° I’m NOT doing more outside other than dashing in and out of Target. For 3 months. Alaska, though? You might have me beat. Congratulations. haha.
🙂
I’m resolving to watch more porn IN church. That way I’ll be that much closer to my final destination! I already know I’m hellbound. That might just seal the deal!! 🙂
It’s what the iphone is for, right?
😉
Way, way too funny! But oh, so true. Have fun at your happy place.
Hugs!
Kara
Thank you, friend! So far so good! Tomorrow will be spent in pj pants and fuzzy socks with naps and movies I think. Happy New Year to me. 🙂
I will be flying across the country on NYE, landing at midnight, and my evening won’t be any less sucky than previous years. Hey! Maybe we’ll get free champagne!
This post was MY favorite today:)
Amy
Haha! I love that – air travel and navigating airports with small children. Yeah, sounds like a fine NYE to me. Watch out for the lunatics on the drive home, though. 🙂
I always do the same thing for New Years … absolutely nothing. I do it on purpose. I lie through my teeth to people who invite me to things, saying I’m already busy, then I spend the evening at home being a complete hermit. Best way to start the year!
AGREE. Best way to spend most nights, actually…
🙂
I loooooved this! As a former UND graduate (you better not like the Gophers), I feel your pain on the cold. Preach!
No allegiance to the Gophers. Breathe easy. I’m a midwest transplant from Arizona so I’m a Sundevil fan. 😀
This is awesome. We will be with family ordering pizza and eating cupcakes in our jammies as well. BEST TIME EVER.
Sounds perfect! I like the cupcake idea! Have fun ~ 🙂
I love this so much. Thank you for writing the truth. 🙂
xoxo
Always. 🙂 xo
i’m just sitting here laughing my ass off reading this 🙂 i, too, will sit at home for new year’s eve. i probably won’t even be awake for it, but i bought some sparkling cider for the kids just in case 😉
Hopefully you bought some adult sparkling cider as well! Sounds like many of us sit at home ~ we obviously are the smart ones. Obviously.
🙂
Haha New Year’s Eve. So stressful!
New follower 🙂
Kianabates.blogspot.com
Oh my gosh! Reading your posts is so much fun! Kindred spirits for sure. Love the idea of going outside only long enough to dash in and out of Target. Totally me. I moved here from San Diego and have yet to “embrace” the great (frozen) outdoors in the winter. And it’s been 20+ years! C’mon SPRING!
Your plans sound perfect! I hope you had a great evening, and that glass is beyond amazing! Seriously, I am now having complete martini-glass lust 😉 I miss Dick Clark too. Hoping you’ve started off to a good 2013, despite all the reasons not to love the holiday. Thanks for linking up with #findingthefunny!