The other night Husband and I were uncharacteristically sitting on the upstairs couch in front of the tree, having a glass of wine (that is not the ‘uncharacteristically’ part, btw) and reading. And by ‘reading’ I mean I was flipping through UsWeekly and he was playing Civilization on his iPad, of course.
One thing you should know about me is that while I subscribe to and read UsWeekly every week, I’m not a huge fan. It’s fluff and what little text they do have is poorly written. To be honest, I don’t know why I keep renewing my subscription other than the fact that I’m a celebrity whore-monger and it seems like a step up from Life&Style and The Enquirer. But not by much.
However, I love the 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me lists they always do. It’s the first thing I look for in the magazine every week, and other than looking at the photos of stars who are JUST LIKE ME pumping gas or getting parking tickets or shopping at Whole Foods (always Whole Foods) I don’t really do more than flip through (I save my in-depth reading for the weekend when my People and Entertainment Weekly arrive. I mean, I do have standards).
So, anyway, you can imagine my audible gasp (that may or may not have brought the children running into the room to see who was hurt) when I turned the page and saw this:
For those of you who’ve been following along, you’ll know why I choked on my wine.
(For my new friends, read THIS and THIS to understand. Seriously, he KNOWS I EXIST).
But then I started reading the list aloud, and I almost peed my pants.
Because I. Married. Scott. Baio.
See those red circles?
Those are 9 exact things that would totally be on Husband’s list (if he didn’t think these kinds of lists are stupid). Okay, maybe #21 is a stretch and would not be included on Husband’s list of 25, but he does sing along to Howard Jones and Wham! and Heart when he’s in my car so I say it counts.
I know you might be thinking, Uh…Michelle? 9 out of 25 hardly makes them separated at birth to which I will say to you, with all due respect and kindness, shut. up.
Because see #s 4,5 and 9? Those are borderline weird and not-so-borderline OCD personality traits and more than make up for all the others on this list that husband does not share with Baio (although I’d have to say that other than the fact that Husband does not wear a watch, is a long time fan of PB&Js, and enjoys coffee on a daily basis, all the rest could be bended in such a way that they’d match. For example – Husband has no clue who the hell Donald Pliner is, but he, too, only owns a few pairs of shoes and they are the exact same Cole Haan style that he’s worn for a few years; he just replaces them when they get worn out).
And he will not admit it and right now is probably calling me a liar but I know that even Husband was kind of happy to know that he’s not the only one who packs extra underwear “just in case” and showers more in a week than the ordinary person does in a month, and that he’s in pretty damn good company with Baio.
Because between you and me, I know they’d be fast friends (except for that Spice Girls thing).
I’ve known for awhile that they share political beliefs, a love of golf and are both devoted family men, and now that I know they also share more than a few – shall we say – interesting personality traits, I couldn’t be more pleased.
I have a type.
So thank you, UsWeekly.
You’ve given me 9 more reasons to love Baio.
Because they’re 9 of a million quirky little reasons I’ve loved Husband for 24 years.
(aaand now I’m forgiven for telling everyone he packs too much underwear when he travels. Probably.)
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