This post brought to you by my sanity

In all the excitement of the past seven or twenty-seven days it seems I forgot to post the FFs yesterday.

I bet you thought your weekend was ruined.

Saturday Favorites

If you’ve been keeping up at all this week, I think the number one favorite is pretty obvious, amiright?

gilmorehugYou guys, stop my heart from beating because Lauren Graham does not deny the possibility that there might be a Gilmore Girls movie…one day.

Oh, wait.
You thought I was talking about the book being published or the fact that I’m now a contributor to “The Community” on Entertainment Weekly (dot) com?

Nah, too obvious.
Besides, those things are so far above the favorites bar that they laugh at the idea of being referred to as ‘favorites.’ (But seriously, if you missed all the exciting news this week, scroll back through the previous two posts. Go ahead…I’ll wait.)

Back to Lauren Graham.
My BFF who doesn’t know she’s my BFF.
Funny, now that I’m covering Parenthood at community.ew.com (let’s see how many times I can sneak that in, shall we?) she’ll probably reach out to me — finally — and ask for my personal number. We’ll meet for coffee at Luke’s or The Piping Cup in Berkeley and talk about how disappointed we are that Rory and Drew keep getting stoned and how Sookie needs to tell Joel to beat it.

Hold on.
I may be confusing a few things.
Whatever, the point is that pretty soon she’ll know she’s my BFF and we’ll text all the time and go on girls’ weekends together…and I probably won’t scare her by my stalkery friendship at all.

But back to the other favorites…

You know how I hate to do this to you, but I have to pull out some oldies but goodies for the next few days (I’m totally lying btw, I love pulling out an oldie or two every so often).
I’ll explain why next week.
And no, it’s nothing too exciting — not like the book or the EW news (<< that’s three)  — but suffice it to say I won’t have time to construct witty and thought provoking posts.
Husband: “So what’s the problem?”
He’s hilarious.
Part of the reason may or may not have to do simply with me stepping away from my screens for a bit so I don’t lose my mind.

KittyScreaming

Trust me, I’m about three minutes away from this happening.

So in the interest of my sanity, here’s an old favorite post of mine from May 2012.
We were heading on vacation and things went terribly wrong.
This post is the story of what happened…and how we handled it.

Enjoy…and I’ll catch ya back here on Monday.

________________________________________________

“It Could’ve Been Worse” ~ originally posted May 12, 2014

So I thought you’d enjoy this story –

Last night we had a 9:45 p.m. flight to Phoenix to attend my nephew’s wedding and had planned to leave the house by 7:00 so we could stop and pick up sandwiches on the way and leave enough time to stop at the Delta Sky Lounge for our usual pre-flight (free) beer.

I think the best way to tell you how that plan played out is to break it down for you.

6:50 – Husband goes out to load bags into the car.

6:52 – Husband runs into house holding hand in air screaming ”We have an emergency!”

6:52.5 – Girls and I frantically look for stream of blood coursing from his aloft hand, see none, continue to stare blankly at him.

6:53 – Husband says, in a surprisingly calm tone, while furiously ripping yards of paper towels off roll, ”When I flipped the seat up it punctured a can of yellow spray paint that was under the seat and it sprayed all over the inside of the car.” 
(A-ha! Mystery solved! It was paint, not blood, on his hand.  Oh, crap. It was paint, not blood, on his hand.)

*time-out for a back story*
Last week Husband and I were at our cabin spray painting Adirondack chairs. Discovered we had like 4 cans of yellow paint so we put one back in the car to return to Home Depot.
Guess who didn’t return it to Home Depot?
Let the record show that it had rolled under the seat (and that I totally forgot about it).
**continue**

6:53.5 – Family switches to disaster mode and hurriedly follows Husband out to car, where we see that why, yes indeed, a can of yellow spray paint has blown up and now lies in a spreading pool of its own excrement on the floor of the garage. Interior of car (the back driver’s side) is dripping with rapidly drying yellow paint all over the back of the driver’s seat, the door, and running board.

It smelled totally fantastic though.

And an important thing for you to know? This car is only 6 months old, still has had that new car smell, and is MINE. And I have been totally neurotic about keeping it clean and crumb and trash free.
Super.

6:54 – Husband tries (furiously and unsuccessfully) to rub paint off with wet paper towels.

6:54.5 – Realizing the attempt is futile, Husband begins using words extremely unfit for 11 year old’s ears.
She responds by pointing out (bless her heart) that ”It could’ve been worse, Daddy. It could’ve gone all over the seats and ceiling.”
We all stop and agree with Little Miss Optimist.
Then Husband returns to his vocab lesson.

6:55 – Family, still in disaster recovery mode, runs inside and frantically searches for items that might magically erase dried spray paint.

6:56 – Reconvene in garage with more paper towels, nail polish remover, GOO-be-Gone, latex gloves.

6:56-7:05 – Husband and Thing 1 find marginal success with nail polish remover despite the fact that it appears to be removing not only the paint but also some of the fake wood grain of the door panel.
I take on the role of E.R. Nurse and hand them acetone soaked paper towels as needed.
Thing 2 begins jumping rope in the garage.

7:05 – Paint removal is hitting a wall, and realizing our sandwich plans are toast and our beer plans are in serious jeopardy, Husband puts me in charge of clock watching.

7:05-7:20 – I make an executive decision that we should take Husband’s car to the airport and leave mine at home in the garage with the windows down to air out so it (fingers crossed) doesn’t forever smell like a nail salon.
I switch all luggage to his car.
In the rain.

7:35 – Car marginally paint free (if you just avert your eyes from the now yellow door speaker) and we are on the road! Gonna have to make due with goldfish for dinner, but we’re still on track for that cold beer (and remember kids, with the way I feel about flying, this is a necessity).

7:50- Flying down the freeway, 13 miles from home, Husband suddenly freaks out, grabs for his wallet, rips it open and says, ”I don’t have my license.”
Uh…excuse me?
Then he (once again) teaches the 11 year old a few new words.
Apparently he had taken it out of his wallet and put it in his shorts’ pocket the day before when he and I went on a (very lovely, but beside the point) bike ride.
What, in case we got pulled over??
I (wisely) keep my mouth shut.

7:51 – Exiting freeway. Turning around. Car filled with stress (but thankfully in this family it is dealt with humor..and many smart ass comments) and us reassuring girls that we probably won’t miss our flight (but sadly realizing the cold beer ain’t gonna happen).
Cue Thing 2, ”It could’ve been worse Daddy. We could’ve gotten all the way to the airport.”
She makes a fine point, but somebody really needs to shut this kid up.

8:07 – Arrive back home.
See paint and acetone fumes seeping from under garage door.
Ignore.
Tell girls to stay in car but to time us (might as well make a game out of it).
Give ourselves a 3 minute max and a high five for luck (I’m totally serious) and…Ready…set…GO!

8:07-8:10 – Tear inside, yell hello to the surprised-to-see-us-back-so-soon-when-we-left-with-luggage-30-minutes-ago cats, run upstairs. Husband immediately yells, ”FOUND IT!” then just as immediately yells, ”NOPE, THAT’S AN OLD ONE”.
Huh?
I successfully locate passport (miracle) at the same moment he finds license in shorts. Happy dance!

8:11 – On the road again! Husband very consciously NOT speeding to avoid one of Thing 2’s ”could’ve been worse”  visions.

8:40 – Arrive at airport and – our luck it is a’changin! – find a primo parking spot and (even better) an empty security line.

Know what that means?

8:50 – COLD BEER.

And the icing on the cake? Husband got upgraded to a first class seat, which of course I took (remember our last flight?  He totally owed me).

So here I sit, in seat 1B, my complimentary snacks out before me, typing happily away.
I hope the rest of the fam is as relaxed back in coach as I am.

So we’ll log this story in the ol’ family archives (like the aroma in my car will ever let us forget it).



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