Say Hello To My Little (Virtual) Friends

In this age of instant contact and gratification through various forms of social media, it seems as though personal connections with our 3-D friends are sadly becoming less of a priority.

I know I’m guilty of it.

I’ve communicated with my neighbors — the actual, real, live, breathing people who live in a 200 yard radius of me — much more on Facebook than in person in the past six months.

Sure, we’ve all been trapped in our houses by below zero temps and 5′ of snow since late November, but still. When I see one of them at Target we tend to shyly do the awkward, “How aarrre you?” dance while really we know not only what each other has eaten, watched and read in the past year but which character in Breakfast Club they’re most like (thanks, Buzzfeed).

But like it or not, it’s kind of the new normal.

We’re busy. Our kids, especially as they get older, are busier. When we do get a free moment, it’s just easier to catch up sitting in front of our screens in our sweats than having to actually put on real clothes and makeup, get in the car and drive somewhere.

Oh, wait. Maybe that’s just me.

The point is, online friendships rule, both with 3-D friends, and as I’ve had the good fortune to meet over the past year, virtual ones.

With the upcoming publication of the second book in the Pee Alone series, I Just Want To Be Alone, I’ve found myself with another gaggle of virtual friends I’m getting to know on Facebook. Some of them are old friends and fellow KAB members, but there’s also some new kids in the class who are quickly adding to my online sisterhood. And the people I’m keeping company with in this second volume aren’t screwing around. There’s some seriously legit writers and authors here who are making me damn proud to be one degree away from them. And because they’re awesome and because I want you to get excited about their essays in the new book I want to take this post to let you get to know some of the more interesting things about a few of them.I sat down with them (lie) and asked them some hard hitting questions (totally). And I may or may not have answered a few of them myself (see: narcissism).

 

Question: How did you come up with the name of your blog?

• I’d like to say I named my blog “Hollow Tree Ventures” for some well-thought-out, intelligent reason, but really it’s because I didn’t know what a blog was at the time. — Robyn, Hollow Tree Ventures

• I’ve always called my kids my life suckers. Because they suck the life out of me. So when it came time to name by blog it was the obvious choice. — Deva Dalporto, MyLifeSuckers

• I named my blog “I Love Them The Most When They’re Sleeping” because I gave birth to four boys. So, yeah. I think that explains it. — Bethanny Meyers, I Love Them The Most When They’re Sleeping

• My blog’s name is “From Meredith to Mommy,” with the idea that I’d balance writing about who I am as Meredith and who I am as Mommy and how I blend the two. But I write mostly about my girls and being Mommy. Oh, well. — Meredith, From Meredith to Mommy

• I call my blog “You’re my favorite today” because it refers to one of m teenage daughters. But I’ll never tell which one. — Guess who?

 

Question: What is your biggest daily accomplishment?

• Honestly, every single day I want to jump in the air and click my heels together that I managed to feed the boys something they liked and is good for them. I’m like “by some miracle, they got fed and fed well again tonight.” Other days, I really feel like my biggest accomplishment is showering and making myself look presentable. — Andrea C. – The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess

• Not killing or divorcing the Hubs. We work together. From home. All day. All alone. Just the two of us. There are days the sound of his breathing irritates me and I know the feeling is mutual. — Jen, People I Want to Punch in the Throat

• Managing to not crack open the bottle before wine o’clock…in some timezone. — Lynn, The Nomad Mom Diary


Question: When was the last time you cried?

• At almost 9 months pregnant with my third baby, when was the last time I DIDN’T cry? It’s like puberty with all body hair and no period. — Stephanie, When Crazy Meets Exhaustion

• When my son bit my butt three days ago. — Deva Dalporto, MyLifeSuckers

• Last week when a mean mom made me cry for doing what she thought was a suck ass job. So I blogged about it. And now who’s crying, bitch? — Christine, Keeper of the Fruit Loops

• I spilled milk the other day. — Ellen, Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Question: What character from FRIENDS would you do and why?

• Smelly cat. — Stacey, Nurse Mommy Laughs

• Rachel. Oh stop it, that’s your answer too. — Stephanie, When Crazy Meets Exhaustion

• Joey. He’s hot and too dumb to notice my stretch marks. — Deva Dalporto, MyLifeSuckers

• I don’t remember the 1990’s. — Leanne Shirtliffe, Ironic Mom


Question: Who/What scares you?

• Professional adults who use words like “cray cray” and “adorbs” in conversation, people with clipboards, unemployment, sneezing while driving and the thought of an avocado, asparagus or hummus shortage. Also, death and toast when it pops us, no matter how prepared I think I am (for the toast, not for death). — Abby Heugel, Abby Has Issues

• Permanent markers and glitter glue. — Stacey, Nurse Mommy Laughs

• Toilets that flush backwards, Zach Galifianakis’ beard, and a tampon I’ve left in too long. TMI? — Christine, Keeper of the Fruit Loops

• A peanut butter shortage. — Leanne Shirtliffe, Ironic Mom

• Kardashians — that’d be me. Obviously.

 

Question: What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever lost?

• My big, spectacular breasts. Thanks, kids! — Kim Bongiorno, Let Me Start By Saying

• I still miss my first husband. He was about 180 pounds of pussy. I like the new one better. — Magnolia Ripkin

• My ass. But I gained it back again after Fruit Loop #2, dammit. — Christine, Keeper of the Fruit Loops

• My dignity — when delivering my children. — Andrea, The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess

 

Question: What was the last good deed you did?

• I’m like Dr. Freaking Doolittle in my neighborhood. Always returning the lost dogs and driving them to the vet to see if they’re micro-chipped. — Rebecca, Frugalista Blog

• I am very active at my church. Shocker, I know. In fact, I give a lot of children’s sermons and still, I’ve not been struck dead by the Lord. — Nicole Leigh Shaw, NinjaMomBlog

• I refrained from killing the cat when he threw up on the stairs this morning. Again. — Robyn, Hollow Tree Ventures

• I’m the motherf*cking PTO president because I care about my children, and because you get a reserved parking spot. The other day when someone was parked in my spot, I didn’t key their car or slash their tires. — Jen, People I Want to Punch in the Throat

• Poured myself a glass of wine. And yes, that counts. — me again

 

As you can see, there’s no shortage of sarcasm, wit and yes, even generosity (gasp!) in this group of Super Cool Writers who I’m feeling lucky to have as virtual friends. And there’s so many more! Go to the Buy My Books page to check out the complete list of blogs, and while you’re there make sure to follow the link to PRE ORDER the book.

And lastly, there’s another group of virtual friends who’ve become important to me over the past two years: YOU. My readers.

You know I love ya.

I totally wish I could do the awkward conversation dance at Target with every single one of you.

 

 

 



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