A letter to my Bachelor recap fans…

Dear faithful YMFT Bachelor recap fans,

I have good news for you.
Sort of.
(Here’s the part where I get you excited for a second and then [possibly] let you down gently.)

You might remember how I’ve repeatedly said I won’t recap The Bachelorette anymore since I recapped Des’ season two years ago and lost half my summer—and what little self-respect I had left.
Devoting my Monday nights and half of my Tuesdays to The Bachelor from January to March to bring you the stimulating recaps is a welcome distraction from the hellish cold I live in those three months, but I like to be outside on my deck and dock to celebrate surviving them on the beautiful Monday nights we have in the summer.
With wine.
{i.e., not sitting inside watching television, even if it is compelling and dramatic.}

But here’s the thing: This Bachelorette season is somewhat intriguing to me. Even though the whole “two girls” thing is hype and from what I hear [no spoilers, please] one is sent home the very first week, I actually might be watching.
And by that I mean if the bachelorette ends up being Kaitlyn, whom I actually like. Unlike Britt, who is beyond. As in, “beyond even my attention span,” which I think we’ve established is actually quite long when this show is concerned, being as I’ve been watching if for *whispers* 13 years.

So here’s the deal: I can’t watch live tonight or tomorrow, as I’ll be busy recapping the two-night Dancing With The Stars finale for EW.com (a dirty job, but someone has to do it), but I’m sure I’ll power through both episodes later in the week. If Kaitlyn does, indeed, end up being the one crowned Bachelorette, I’ll compromise with you.
While I can’t commit to a regular post day and time like I have for The Bachelor recaps since I know I will rarely actually watch on Monday nights, and am certainly not committing to the regular full, 18 page, 18,000 word recaps as per usual, I’ll give my two cents (read: biting commentary and scintillating ridicule) on some “best of” moments from each week’s episode. Abbreviated, summertime versions of the recaps, if you will.
I mean, I know I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut, so I might as well share the ridiculousness with you, the 32 people who actually appreciate it.
The checker at Target just looks at me like I’m weird when I try to discuss it with her.

Huh. Now I can’t decide if I want Kaitlyn to “win” or not.

Stay tuned…

Your friend,
Michelle

 

**If you’re new to the class and don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, carry on. Or, click HERE  to get enlightened.**