Real advice for those sending their first born to college

As most of you know, a year ago I was at the end of a year long battle with denial and was mere days away from reaching that big, red box on my calendar that I’d filled in with a skull and crossbone.

My daughter was about to move almost 300 miles away to college.

For an entire year leading up to the big day I’d been chugging up a roller coaster hill, each month a jerk and pull that filled my body with more and more anxiety. I was terrified of reaching the top. I’d heard about that big drop on the other side, and I wanted desperately to get off.

But that wasn’t an option.
Like it or not, I was strapped in.

So I did what anyone in my shoes would do.

I drank copious amounts of wine.

But besides that, I sought out the advice of others. Parents and experts (same thing) who’d been through it and might be able to offer up some nuggets of advice that would help me make it to the crest of that hill intact.

[Pause for laughter]

I craved the words that would put some structure to the final months leading up to the day we’d drop her off, and while some of it did, in fact, give me a list of things to occupy my brain, there was no helping my heart.

Today I’m sharing my thoughts about how I dealt with this advice over at Grown and Flown, your one-stop shopping place for all things related to your children hitting the age where college is a real word, and for the years you’ve stopped crying and started rejoicing.

I’d love it if you’d check it out here … and speaking of advice, if you missed the 20 letters I gave to my daughter before she left for college that were also published on Grown and Flown, you can read them here.


For more of my posts relating to senior year, graduation, and college, click here.
(Best enjoyed with a glass or three of wine.)

real advice


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  • Snarkfest - No pauses for laughter, your advice helped tremendously.ReplyCancel

  • Stacey Warner Hatton - You are such a great mom and writer. Loved this. Are you coming to Erma this year? I already booked my room!!ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - And YOU are so lovely to say those things. Yes! I’m planning on it! We can book rooms? I’m on it.ReplyCancel

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