Santa’s Little Helpers Vol. 5

santas-little-helpers

♫ Have yourself a merry little Cosmo… ♫

It’s that time of year, my friends. Time to deck our halls, spread good cheers, and be filled with the Christmas spirits.

adele-drunkWhich means it’s also the time of year where I raid my liquor cabinet and wreck wrack my brain to bring you a few new cocktails to put the jolly in your holly and take your grinchies away. To be honest, it’s getting harder each year to come up with new recipes, although I’d be lying if I said the taste testing process isn’t more than a little bit fun.

screenshot-2016-12-04-19-45-30

I’M KIDDING.
Kind of.
I toss the concoctions that are anything but delicious. And by toss I mean I give them to my husband. He’ll drink anything.

toasting

So a few nights ago I declared it SLH week and began the arduous process of experimentation. Fun fact: I’d worked until 8:30 so by the time we ate and I got down to set up my laboratory at the bar it was 9:30 p.m.
On a weeknight.
Crazy** doesn’t even begin to describe how husband and I felt.
Alcoholics** is a closer description.

Santa

**This is the grand total of what was made and shared between the two of us (and one was actually *gasp* tossed down the sink) and those clear glasses are my tiny-tini tasting glasses which are the size of a thimble, so don’t be too impressed by our mad party skillz or too concerned for our livers. Save that for next Monday night when we have one while watching the finale of The Voice

I wish I could say that my efforts this year were met with the same enthusiasm as last year’s favorite, the Ruby Red Martini, which has been our go-to when we’re feeling martini-ish throughout the past year. No kidding, it’s knocked poor Appletini down to second place. The other night I considered trying a new apple concoction, and you guys, we didn’t even have any Apple Pucker in the liquor cabinet. 

wait-what

It was an eye-opening moment, let me tell you, and one that was quickly taken care of the next day.

But while it’s true that the best (i.e., my most favorite) recipes can be found in previous years’ SLH posts, here are two new-yet-kind-of-similar concoctions I’ve come up with (with the help of Google, obviously).

Sure, they might not be quite as delicious as the others, but in the end, how much does it really matter?

ho-ho-rum

Both recipes have a common ingredient; something I discovered this past summer that I almost wish I hadn’t.
I said almost.

screenshot-2016-12-09-09-29-36

Keep this in the freezer for those times you don’t want a glass of wine but just a small nip and a tiny sip of sweet deliciousness.
You know, Thursdays.

But for those times you want to use a fancier glass than the Elvis shot glass you got in Vegas in 1991, here are two other options.

Pineapple Gimlet

pineapple-gimlet

2 oz. Pineapple vodka
2 oz. Lemon Juice
2 oz. simple syrup

Remember how to make simple syrup? I showed you a couple of years ago but in case all the help you’ve been getting has fried a few brain cells, here’s a refresher:

Bring 1 cup water and 1 cup sugar to a boil until the sugar is dissolved.
Let cool and store in a jar in the fridge.
The end.

It really is a key ingredient to making sweet martinis taste smoother. You can buy it in a bottle at Target for like five bucks but it’s so ridiculously easy I’d save the five bucks for a popcorn/soda combo on your way out.

pineapple gimlet martini

Warning: This martini is tart! It’ll really put the pucker in your sucker.
I feel like there’s a dirty joke in there somewhere, so I’m moving along.

pineapple gimlet


Pomegranate Punch

Pineapple cosmo

Full disclosure: I totally made this one up out of sheer desperation, and while it is tasty, it’s not my favorite. Like, I’d make a Ruby Red or a Pineapple Gimlet or an Appletini the other 11 months of the year I’m not forced to come up with new, original cocktail recipes. Husband liked it, although since I mentioned he’ll drink anything I’m not sure that’s a great endorsement. 

2 oz. Pineapple Vodka
1 oz. Pomegranate DeKuyper (which you should all have in your liquor cabinet for making Ruby Red martinis anyway)
2 oz. Cranberry Juice
splash of lime juice

Pomegranate Punch

You could also make this with regular or citrus vodka I think.
I would’ve tried it, but like I said, it was a weeknight and despite what you might think, I do have limits.


The Happy Elf

Holiday cocktail

My husband and I came up with a non-alcoholic version of this cocktail several years ago when I was on a medication where I couldn’t drink.
Over the holidays.
It was a dark time and one that I don’t like to remember.

I think he gave it the jolly name to make me feel better.

Shot of vodka (regular, citron, Pineapple…all of the above…)
Cranberry Juice
Sparkling Water with Lime
Extra splash of lime … or a real lime

Years ago when we came up with this we just used soda and squeezed in lime, but now there’s this magic mixer elixer —

Dasani sparkling water with lime

And because I know you’re all thinking it, yes we do know that a vodka/cranberry/soda isn’t revolutionary, but next time you’re out, order a Happy Elf just to mess with the bartender.
It’s fun.

That’ll do it for this year, and most likely, forever.
I think my cocktail well might very well be drained, which is what I’ll be saying about my Appletini glass later tonight.

rim shot

And as always, I’ll leave you with this final request and words of advice: please please please drink responsibly. 
Your dancing on the other hand? You work it.

marshall-drinking

For all the Santa’s Little Helpers recipes from years past, click HERE



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