Category Archives: recaps

Nick. Wes. Justin. Bad news Bently: When these guys were on The Bachelorette in seasons past we thought they were the worst. But there’s a new villain in town, and you guys, this one really is. He’s horrible. He’s an alpha male superdouche. He’s cocky and arrogant and I’m pretty sure verbally abuses anything that isn’t […]

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Welcome to another season of Bachelorette recaps! And big congratulations to Jordan and JoJo! See ya in January, folks, g’night! But really. I think we can all agree that Aaron Rodgers’ brother Jordan already has this thing tied up. But, alas, the road to true love via reality television isn’t that easy, and despite JoJo […]

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  Alright, you guys, here ya go. Since I was able to catch The Bachelor last night in real time and have an hour or so to kill this morning and don’t want to vacuum and really don’t want to get on the treadmill, I thought I’d pop in and share my thoughts—briefly—on what’s been going down […]

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On the wings of loooooove only the two of us together flying highhhh…. Flying high upon the wings of looove If you don’t know that song from 1982 you are dead to me. Nah, I’ll forgive you, but seriously, grab a glass of Gallo, light some candles, and take a few minutes out of your hectic life and […]

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Buckle up, my friends, and keep your hands, feet, and tacky statement necklaces inside the vehicle. With week one out of the way and the boring fantastical “meet and greets” taken care of, it’s finally time for the backstabbing to begin and the tears to start to flow like the free chardonnay that’s responsible for (much of) […]

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Here’s a story… Of a deranged blogger… Who continued to subject herself to trite… The show in question… Was called The Bachelor… And writing recaps took her all fucking night. But still, because she was apparently into SELF-TORTURE—and also because she had a handful of the very nicest recap-reading fans in the world— she did it over […]

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Ahhh, awards season. It comes rushing in on a cool breeze of Pumpkin Spice, changing leaves, and front porch mums. Well, in Minnesota, anyway. In Los Angeles it comes in on a 100° heat wave of deflated hair, glistening décolletage, and impressive back sweat. If you’ve been hanging around here long enough, you know how […]

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You guys, I can honestly say I never saw that coming. The fact that Kaitlyn cruelly stomped on Nick’s heart with the pointy heel of her stiletto and then squished it around with the toe? Well, yes, that was surprising, but what I now realize Chris Harrison has meant every time he’s told us the […]

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You guys, I’m not kidding, since the episode ended I’ve had the chorus to that old 1976 song by Mary MacGregor in my head on a loop. (And don’t even tell me you don’t know the song or I’ll have my Stretch Armstrong beat you up.) “Torn between two loverrrrs…feeling like a fool. Lovin’ both […]

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(Pun. Intended.) Sorry for the delay in getting this recap up, you guys, but I’ve been in the shower for the past 20 hours washing the filth, shame, and disgust off of me. (Try as I might, though, that nasty regret just won’t scrub off.) As we’ve come to expect this season, this week was another two-hour […]

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