Category Archives: recaps

  Are you reading this, Chris Harrison? Good. Because I’m about to say something that I don’t say very often. Something that I’m quite sure I haven’t said at all in the past six or seven years — You were right. This episode may very well have been one of the most compelling in Bachelor history. […]

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If you show them Arlington. Get your mind out of the gutter. Never mind. It still sounds dirty. Heh heh. Let’s skip “Chris Tells All” and cut to the good stuff, shall we? Because let’s be honest, he’s a dipshit and none of us really care what he has to say. (Plus, I didn’t even […]

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I have to begin this recap with a confession: I never watched last week’s episode. I know. It’s shameful and shocking. And I fully intended to, I did. But the week just seemed to get away from me. And by “the week seemed to get away from me” I mean after hearing all about it, I […]

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Cue the trumpets, ready the confetti, and pour mama a gigantic Appletini — I’ve come to the decision that The Bachelor recaps will live on. In related news, I’m the biggest pushover in the entire world, and a big softie when it comes to the heartfelt and wonderfully kind appeals of all of you, my invisible […]

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You guys, I’ll be honest, those Bachelor recaps take a huge amount of wind out of my sails, writing wise. I know it might come as a huge shock to those of you read them; scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling, stopping a few times for potty and snack breaks, of course, but think about me. After […]

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The bachelor is a drunk whore. The end. But really. While it’s true that the above sentence pretty much sums up episode 3 because Farmer Chris is revealing himself to be quite the booze hound and hound hound, I’ll add a few more details of the episode that proved—once again—that there are no more self-respecting […]

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After spending a week in a very Bachelor-like location, I’m back, my friends, and ready to roll! And if you think I didn’t think about Bachelor dates possibly happening on the beaches I was sitting on, you don’t know me at all. Did I imagine myself a few times, overly-accessorized, overly-tanned, and overly-boobed, sitting in […]

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That’s right, my Bachelor lovin’ friends. After taking annoying Andi’s season off due to a crazy spring schedule (and by “crazy spring schedule,” I mean “zero interest in watching”) I’ve decided to once again drive your Bachelor bus down the highway of heartbreak, ridicule, and regret for the next three months and recap all the hilariousness, hysteria, […]

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  Full disclosure: It’s 11:15 p.m. and I’ve had two large Appletinis. I’m getting punchy. In my defense: • Today was YMFT’s TWO YEAR BLOGIVERSARY, so obviously — Mascot Appletini. • I re-pulled the same damn muscle in my back for the third time in two weeks and cannot bend over, cough, sneeze or laugh without pain or […]

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