Category Archives: The Bachelor

Anger! Lying! Regret! Tears! Backstabbing! Insults! Heartache! Heartbreak! Closeted homosexuals!—The latest installment of The Bachelorette had it all, and that was just in the first five minutes. Let’s cut to the chase and get right to it. I’ve got to go work on my number for our family’s production of Aladdin which we’ve suddenly decided […]

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My apologies for missing last week’s installment, you guys. It’s not my fault. It’s Thing 2’s. But really, now that my whole Bachelorette crew is home and hyped up about this season we have to watch every episode together. That’s what makes it fun. I mean, it’s usually the rest of them that come up with the […]

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So it’s been a whole week since this season’s installment of self-loathing began, and I just got around to watching the three hour, historic Bachelorette premiere with the fam this weekend. You guys. What. The. Hell. But really, I could’ve saved two hours and 55 minutes of my life and infinitely more self-respect had I just […]

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Dear faithful YMFT Bachelor recap fans, I have good news for you. Sort of. (Here’s the part where I get you excited for a second and then [possibly] let you down gently.) You might remember how I’ve repeatedly said I won’t recap The Bachelorette anymore since I recapped Des’ season two years ago and lost half my […]

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♫ The farmer gets a wife … the farmer gets a wife … heigh ho the derry-o, the farmer gets a wife! ♫   You guys, it’s official: Prince farming found his hoe. I’m not bragging or anything, but I kind of totally called it in week 3. I did. Here’s proof [which contains a spoiler if you […]

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Chris Harrison is a liar. As much as I adore the man, it’s true. He told us this “Women Tell All” was going to be the most controversial “Women Tell All” ever. He probably threw in the word “compelling,” too. As someone who’s watched more than her fair share of these bitch-fests over the past […]

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*Credit for this episode’s title is given to my 13-year-old, who cracks herself up by saying it every episode. Have to hand it to her; it’s a good one, and I figured the Fantasy Suite date one was the appropriate place for it to land.  Before I begin, let me assure all of you concerned […]

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  Are you reading this, Chris Harrison? Good. Because I’m about to say something that I don’t say very often. Something that I’m quite sure I haven’t said at all in the past six or seven years — You were right. This episode may very well have been one of the most compelling in Bachelor history. […]

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If you show them Arlington. Get your mind out of the gutter. Never mind. It still sounds dirty. Heh heh. Let’s skip “Chris Tells All” and cut to the good stuff, shall we? Because let’s be honest, he’s a dipshit and none of us really care what he has to say. (Plus, I didn’t even […]

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I have to begin this recap with a confession: I never watched last week’s episode. I know. It’s shameful and shocking. And I fully intended to, I did. But the week just seemed to get away from me. And by “the week seemed to get away from me” I mean after hearing all about it, I […]

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