Category Archives: The Bachelor

You guys, I’ll be honest, those Bachelor recaps take a huge amount of wind out of my sails, writing wise. I know it might come as a huge shock to those of you read them; scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling, stopping a few times for potty and snack breaks, of course, but think about me. After […]

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The bachelor is a drunk whore. The end. But really. While it’s true that the above sentence pretty much sums up episode 3 because Farmer Chris is revealing himself to be quite the booze hound and hound hound, I’ll add a few more details of the episode that proved—once again—that there are no more self-respecting […]

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Psych! Sorry, folks, I’m working on the full recap—I promise!—but I have to step out for a bit to do some VERY IMPORTANT THINGS. There’s more important things than writing The Bachelor recaps?!? Shocking, I know. Here’s a small sample of one of the more interesting conversations of the night to tide you over until later […]

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After spending a week in a very Bachelor-like location, I’m back, my friends, and ready to roll! And if you think I didn’t think about Bachelor dates possibly happening on the beaches I was sitting on, you don’t know me at all. Did I imagine myself a few times, overly-accessorized, overly-tanned, and overly-boobed, sitting in […]

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That’s right, my Bachelor lovin’ friends. After taking annoying Andi’s season off due to a crazy spring schedule (and by “crazy spring schedule,” I mean “zero interest in watching”) I’ve decided to once again drive your Bachelor bus down the highway of heartbreak, ridicule, and regret for the next three months and recap all the hilariousness, hysteria, […]

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I have breaking news that some of you might need to sit down for. Wait. Grab a beverage and then sit down for. It will ease the pain. But before I tell you, I just want you all to know one very important thing: This +1 button tells Google you liked what you’ve read. Thanks! […]

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You guys, guess what? I’ve found hard evidence that my soul may start to thaw in the coming days.   Please disregard the fact that on March 11th — almost technically mid-March  — it is only supposed to be 3° above freezing. After the past three solid months of single digit temps I sure as […]

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Alright you guys, did you take your vitamins like I suggested? Are you all carbed up? Are you physically and mentally ready to tackle this mega-recap? THE HOLY MOTHER OF ALL BACHELOR RECAPS?? Grab a snack, put on your comfy pants, give your kids your iPad and a box of Thin Mints, and let’s get […]

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You guys, I have to admit something that I have to admit is hard for me to admit. I didn’t really juant to watch The Bachelor last night. Now before you all go banishing me to the exit limo with my roller suitcase that is only big enough to contain my bikini and my statement […]

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