Category Archives: The Bachelor

Alrighty, who’s ready to feel like crap about yourself? Anyone? Clare?? Oh, wait. That was last week. Silly me. So let’s get right to it. No time for the usual pre-recap chit chat, my friends. Mama’s been burning the midnight oil for the past five days at Thing 1’s performances downtown and after last week’s […]

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Before we start recapping, let’s all take a moment to wish Sean and Catherine well…and the maid at the Four Season’s in Santa Barbara good luck with her ebay auction of those honeymoon sheets. Moving on. Sunday night after the wedding when I was searching Twitter and Instagram and all the other usual sources for […]

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If you A. Are sick of hearing me talk The Bachelor B. Don’t give a crap about The Bachelor C. Get uncomfortable at the thought of having to think about other people doing it D. Are my 12 year old daughter or E. All of the above you shouldn’t read this. In fact, you shouldn’t […]

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Before we get to recapping, let’s just acknowledge the elephant in the room, shall we? Juan Pablo’s had a rough week. Juan Pablo said some stupid shit. Juan Pablo’s been spit, skewered and spun. Juan Pablo is about to get my unsolicited advice. (You know how I like writing letters.) Dear Juan Pablo, Let’s just […]

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After recapping the Globes until way past my bedtime last night (this morning?) I have to say I wasn’t going into tonight’s episode of The Bachelor with my usual excitement. Sure, pouring my small portion of mini m&m’s into my designated portion contol cup and hearing the satisfying plink plink plink as the tiny and […]

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Drum roll, please. (Actually a Bandola strum fanfare would be more appropriate. And yes, I did just google “popular musical instruments of Venezuela” and spend a few minutes reading about the various guitars that make the beautiful sound that I now have in my head. I have a feeling I’m going to be spending a […]

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  …or at least that’s what ABC is doing its damnedest to make us believe. Oh, alright, fine. And people like me. And you, too,  if you’re reading this.Last night ABC aired the juan hour special, “Countdown to Juan Pablo,” which introduced us to the Venezuelan heartthrob, his family, and many of the girls fighting for […]

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*not a typo. You guys, I’ve been living in a deep freeze for the past week. LITERALLY. And for those of you who get annoyed when people misuse and overuse the word ‘literally’, I REALLY MEAN IT. Fact: Your freezer should be kept at 0° F to keep your food safe (a fact I actually […]

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When we last left our fair bachelorette, she was in a fetal position on the end of a pier in Antigua, crying her eyelashes off over the abrupt departure of Brooks, her one true love.      I’ll be honest, the Things and I have spent far too many minutes the past week pondering what […]

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