For the third time in as many years, there’s a new housing development being built right outside my neighborhood. I live in the sticks, so there’s plenty of land. I hate to see the decimation of the lovely farmlands. I cringe as I watch the hundreds of trees turn to mulch as they feed them […]

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  • Snarkfest - I feel where you’re coming from. The thought of downsizing has occurred to me as well with one out the door and one a HS Sophomore. And my house was builders grade white walls all over the place. When my friends ambushed my house and did a drive-by painting of the entire downstairs, suddenly everything old was new again and I found myself buying new curtains.

    Now if I could just convince my friends to sort through all the crap we’ve accumulated so that I don’t have to, life would be grand.ReplyCancel

It’s March 2nd and I’m sitting here at my desk typing away, yet don’t really have anything to say and have absolutely no idea what words will next appear on the screen. It’s ironic, because four years ago I was doing the exact same thing. Four years ago today I spontaneously wrote this post without any idea of […]

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  • Snarkfest - You keep writing, I’ll keep reading. Capiche? Good.
    Happy Anniversary, my friend.ReplyCancel

You guys, it’s been so long since I’ve written anything other than a recap on the blog that I almost feel the need to reintroduce myself. But I can’t think of anything to say. Seriously, writer’s block has hit me hard the past six—eight?—weeks. And by writer’s block I mean disinterest, distraction, and disillusionment. Throw […]

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  • Stacey Hatton - Girl…I feel your pain! Just about tapped out myself. You’ll get your mojo when life gets exciting again. It WILL happen, and maybe then you’ll want to write. xoxoReplyCancel

On the wings of loooooove only the two of us together flying highhhh…. Flying high upon the wings of looove If you don’t know that song from 1982 you are dead to me. Nah, I’ll forgive you, but seriously, grab a glass of Gallo, light some candles, and take a few minutes out of your hectic life and […]

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  • Judy George - So sad! Can’t believe you’re deserting us for something I’ve never heard of before – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? Don’t you have a DVR so you can record more than one thing at a time? And don’t you know we expect you to give up life as you know it to keep us – your “hangingonyoureverywordandneedtobevalidatedfriends” informed? Oh – you don’t? And you don’t care?…… Oh, OK. Well, on another note, I’m so happy you noticed that Wings and Ben didn’t have seat belts on – I thought – whoa – really? And then I wondered – maybe they’re riding in a car with a fan blowing their hair and a green screen of traffic and scenery behind them!
    But I have to say – I think Ben is genuinely attracted to Jubilee – and also that after I got over my disgust of her sulking and “he won’t pick me” crap, and watched her interact with him and heard that her entire family died in Haiti (I presume it was in Haiti) and she was the only one left – there is a horrible malady called “survivor guilt”. My brother lived with it after his return from WWII where he watched his buddies die right and left in front of him and he came home… happens…and it might explain some of her behavior. It felt as though Ben truly listened and “heard” (because there is a difference) and also deeply appreciated the massage while Olivia was…..well, being Olivia (gag me with a spoon)! Amanda was about the only other one who offered sympathy.
    Amber covered her butt pretty well in the bathroom with Ben and Jubilee – but I think Ben got the real message and agree that if Amber didn’t already have a rose, it would have been goodbye.
    Watched Bachelor Nation afterwards and really thought Lace did a standup job of explaining what happened – #1 she drank too much and has cut back on that and is working on liking herself – she really held her own with the participants on there expecially the “comedians” (who weren’t very funny!) Why don’t you give your sweet and on the ball daughter the chance to recap Bachelor? Will be watching for whenever you can fit us in, lol!ReplyCancel

  • Snarkfest - Naturally I had to watch til 2:18 to see that girl fawning over Jeffery Osborne. GREAT song, BTW. And another great recap. I have ugly feet too so I think I’m pulling for Olivia. And I think you have a FREAKING VALID POINT with the white boy/black girl thing. That would raise red flags all over the world. I’ll bet the ratings would rise.

    Great to hear about your new gig!!!ReplyCancel

  • Karen - Oh noooooo. You do not realize how sad this makes me…no recaps! You simply are the best. But congrats on the new writing gig, no doubt you will be great. Another great recap. I be sure to check back for fantasy suite week…you know in case you found some time.

    So I guess I should try Crazy Ex Girlfriend?…she did win a GGlobe.ReplyCancel

  • Jackie Owen - Congrats on your new gig! We will miss you…all 80 of us!! They used On The Wings of Love for Jake’s season cause you know he was a pilot!! LOL!!!ReplyCancel

  • Bev Bell Draughon - EW needs to have you do the Bachelor recaps too….You are crazy funny and I enjoy everything you write my friend…good luck…ReplyCancel

  • Crystal 'Jiskra' Arellano - SO funny! Love reading these. You are hillarious!ReplyCancel

Buckle up, my friends, and keep your hands, feet, and tacky statement necklaces inside the vehicle. With week one out of the way and the boring fantastical “meet and greets” taken care of, it’s finally time for the backstabbing to begin and the tears to start to flow like the free chardonnay that’s responsible for (much of) […]

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  • Amy - Amazing recap, as always! The pic of the red flags had me laughing out loud.ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Thanks! Yeah, the red flag pic is one I keep on hand for all my Bachelor recaps because it’s one that I always find the need to use. You’ll see it again, I can assure you, but I guarantee Ben won’t see them flying right in front of his face. 😛ReplyCancel

  • Snarkfest - “Ben: Caila, will you accept my rose? And by rose I, of course, mean penis.”

    Yogurt on monitor. Again.

    Ben takes mama-Amanda into a side, candled room, to let her know he’s been thinking of her girls and he wants them to make them some barrettes together

    Of course he does. I’d be shocked if he DIDN’T.

    I’ve missed this so much. Welcome back to recap-world.ReplyCancel

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