You guys, I have alarming news. My face is sagging. And listen, I’m not just saying that because I’m getting older and it’s what you’re supposed to say when you are a female and you are getting older. My face is really sagging. I just had a medical doctor tell me so. (In other news, […]

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  • NinaN - Ugh. Aging. What a bitch. I am currently enjoying am (almost) mid-30’s hormonal mess of mid-section weight gain, raging PMS, nightmare periods, monthly acne explosions, and unwanted facial hair growth. Not quite what I was expecting from my 30’s.ReplyCancel

  • Rebecca Lawrence - Im gonna try to NOT sound like an old sales lady in this comment, but I am a Rodan and Fields skin care consultant and we have some pretty kick-ass products that are really fighting the aging process. Our REDEFINE line is cutting edge and has been all over the news and mags. It has a 60 day money back guarantee and you WILL see results. I would love to speak with you and tell you more about it. I will be 39 in August and I’m not sagging without a fight! And I’m winning so far!!ReplyCancel

  • pamb - A few years ago, I asked my dermatologist about Botox and expected to hear “oh, you don’t really need it”. Instead I got a graphic detail of how many shots and where they would be placed and how often I’d need to have them. Then he recommended microdermabrasion instead. Since it was cheaper and less painful, I did that. And saw no results.ReplyCancel

  • Meredith - I started to notice the sagging cheeks about a year ago and, quite literally, had a tizzy fit about “finally getting/looking OOOLLLLDD”. It was a sad, sad day at my house. I just try not to look in the mirror much anymore and slather on that firming cream to cheer myself up.ReplyCancel

  • Julia M. - I totally get this! I’m 40 now and sometimes I contemplate having a little something done here and there but I am terrified of adverse affects and recovery time. What’s freaky is when you go to wipe off some “makeup” and then realize that’s a permanent line near your eye! When did that get there?? And those lovely marionette lines around the mouth… It’s so not fair–I was never a tanning girl or even enjoyed being out in the sun but I’m still aging! Ha
    Like you, I have decided to just age gracefully; I refuse to look like those scary women I see around town that just don’t quite look right. (I’m from Dallas-Ft Worth)ReplyCancel

You guys, I’m writing this post from bed. And it’s well after noon. That’ll do it for this week’s Friday Favorites! Thanks for reading and goodnight! Nah, I’m kidding, but not about the being in bed after noon part. Am I sick? I think you know me well enough by now to know the answer […]

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  • NinaN - Just bring your birks and socks out here to the west coast and you’ll fit in just fine. But better bring your rain boots too. And an umbrella. And gimme your sandwich…..ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Believe me, I am COUNTING THE DAYS until I can move to northern CA. By my count, I have about 3.000 of them.
      Is that where you are? If so, you may be sorry you offered…ReplyCancel

      • NinaN - Ha! No, much further north. To the lands of rain and spring flowers :)ReplyCancel

  • Sarah Van Ness Pinero - You do realize that birkestocks are back in and wearing them with socks is totally hipster of you!! Just thought I’d share and that pic of your sandwich is ridiculous.. Now I’m starving and I already had dinner and dessertThanks a lot!ReplyCancel

I love to sleep. Actually, that’s an understatement, but I can’t think of another word besides “love” that conveys the message more. I cherish sleep? Worship sleep? Yeah, those too. It’s true. My mother tells me that when I was a little girl, a bedtime wasn’t necessary. In fact, I’d often ask her how much longer […]

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  • Snarkfest - I’m so sorry you deal with that. I, on the other hand, am the loud culprit in my house. It’s hereditary, I got it from my mom, who even at 120 lbs soaking wet snored like a freight train. I use strips. They don’t work. So now I’ve taken to passing out earplugs to everyone who sleeps with me (no, I don’t often sleep with large crowds). Distance will help but ear plugs are a good backup plan, at least for all who sleep with me.ReplyCancel

  • Allyson - OMG, I can so relate! My mom told me that I slept through the night the 1st night they brought me home from the hospital and never looked back. If sleeping was an Olympic sport, I’d have a gold medal. I laughed out loud reading your article. Hilarious stuff!! You have a new fan!ReplyCancel

The Friday Favorites have been hijacked this week by something that might very well trump the next month of them. Or six. Yesterday I found out I am a New York Times best selling author. Um, excuse me? No, no, no. You heard me right. A NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHOR!! Seriously, one minute […]

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  • Snarkfest - Proud to be in such cool company on the old Googles. Congrats my friend and let’s see how many more books we can sell before our friends and family get sick of us again!!ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Right?? (About both the Google and people getting sick of us, although that happened awhile ago, I’m sure. 😉 )ReplyCancel

  • Stacey @nursemommylaughs - 9:00 pm This was so funny I actually read it aloud to my husband, whilst interrupting his iPad reading. Seriously! We both had tears in our eyes.ReplyCancel

  For the past year or two I’ve had a stalker. Someone who knows things about me I don’t always tell my closest friends. Things about me I might not even share with my husband. Someone who gets me, without even having to talk to me. I’ve been aware of this creeper for awhile, and for some […]

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46. Forty-six. XLVI. Quarante-six. (Damn, even in French it sounds old.) Tomorrow I will be 46. What. The. Hell. Like I always say about my children, I blinked and it happened. Actually, that’s not entirely true. Those years from birth to about age 15 seemed to totally drag. If you’ve been following along here the […]

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  • Snarkfest - Wishing you the happiest of birthdays and many more returns, my friend. I’ll be drinking to you tomorrow! Maybe I might start early. Like now.ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Ha, I don’t doubt it! Glad to be your reason. 😉ReplyCancel

  • Karen - Happy Birthday! Great post. I am one month ahead of you at being 46 and all your points are spot on (although I do not have the vein issue…something to look forward too I guess). I’d like to ask…do you also have a bathroom drawer full of various eye creams that seem to change nothing… :) Enjoy your day tomorrow…ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Oh my god YES!!! How did I forget that one? Eye creams, under eye concealers and “illuminators” — it’s all crap. I’m now using coconut oil under my eyes. Let’s see if that’s the easy magic that does it!ReplyCancel

  • NinaN - Aw, what a great post. So many things to look forward to/dread as we age. Have a very happy birthday!!ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - As much as I like to complain, it’s better than the alternative, right? And yes, there are multitudes of things to look forward to! Thank you!ReplyCancel

  • Judy George - Happy Birthday – you’re just a young’n! Wait until your CHILD is 46 (or in my case 55!). Cheers!ReplyCancel

  • Peggy Fox Weaver - Happy 46th, my friend! I’m less than 2 months from 50 – had a colonoscopy last week, a discussion today with my GYN about my stage of peri menopause and am not bothered in the least about it. Just happy to be here!! I’ll raise a glass to you tomorrow. As for tonight, I expect that you will be cheering for your Badgers!!ReplyCancel

I don’t like to toot my own horn (much) but when I was little I was quite the dancer. Hoofer, if you will. For years I danced in front of packed houses of cheering audiences as part of the cast of Annie, Oklahoma, Sound of Music, and my favorite dance show, A Chorus Line. The fact […]

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  • NinaN - I haven’t watched DWTS in a long time, but this post is just the best. The best! And Suzanne Somers?! I may just have to watch.

    I am surprised that you think Farm Boy will last 5 weeks. I can not see him being able to do much more than a side to side shuffle dance. Junior high style. And he won’t be able to make out with his partner every time he feels a little nervous/confused/happy/shy. I do love that they paired him with a Witney though. That’ll make it easier for him to keep the names straight anyways.

    Also, I love the copper dance shoes that so many of the ladies are wearing!!ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - I think Chris has a lot of fans that are DWTS fans and will vote for him, no matter how much what his dancing ability is! BTW, you should go back to the post and read the part I had to add at the end. Bummer news. :(ReplyCancel

      • NinaN - Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??????! Huh. Well they don’t know what they are missing!

        I guess monday nights will remain mine to work my through my Netflix to watch list.ReplyCancel

  • Jackie Owen - I can’t wait for your recaps!!ReplyCancel

  • Snarkfest - Is it just me or does Rumer Willis have big giant Vulcan ears? And I’m holding out hope that they will have YOU do the recaps next season when I predict Scott Baio will go ALL. THE. WAY.ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Oh. My. God. You just gave me serious GOOSEBUMPS with that comment. WHY THE HELL HASN’T BAIO BEEN A DANCER YET?? He’d KILL on this show. Mark my words, if he’s ever a contestant, this girl will stop at nothing to somehow be involved.ReplyCancel

  • Judy George - Will definitely miss your recaps – I’m almost never on board with the chosen celebrities before the show begins and always find some favorites within the first couple shows – Hopefully this year will be the same because if it isn’t, I just might not even watch! I thought Derek was sitting this season out? And Val? He sizzles no matter who he’s with. Poor Artem – gets another old lady and Mark? Are they punishing him for stepping out of the box with his routines? Enjoy your appletini knowing you don’t have a deadline to meet!ReplyCancel

  • Sue K. - Please recap for us. PLEASE! Please, please, please, pretty please?!?!?!? I mean I know we can’t pay you but your fans need your DWTS recaps. NEED them.ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Aw, you are so kind to beg like that 😉 but here’s the deal — the blog has been verrry recap heavy since January with The Bachelor. I’d like to get it back to its old format for a bit. Since I write recaps much of the rest of the week for EW, I’ve missed writing other types of things for my blog — a lot. In other words, I’M RECAPPED OUT. 😉 Thanks for the nice note, though, and I hope you’ll still stick around! :)ReplyCancel

♫ The farmer gets a wife … the farmer gets a wife … heigh ho the derry-o, the farmer gets a wife! ♫   You guys, it’s official: Prince farming found his hoe. I’m not bragging or anything, but I kind of totally called it in week 3. I did. Here’s proof [which contains a spoiler if you […]

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  • Melinda Ann - I applaud you. When I heard the finale was going to be 3 HOURS LONG….I admit, I paused. Seriously, what can they say/do for 3 FREAKING HOURS? But they did. And you did. So bravo to you!!!

    Also, did you notice when Jimmy Kimmel came out and everyone was hugging, I swear I saw Chris take Jimmy’s hand and kiss it! Did you see that? It freaked me out. What the heck, man hand kisisng???? Why?

    Anyway, I think he made the right choice (you’re so relieved I said that, right???). She will make a darling farm wife and he will be happy with help shucking his corn, heh heh.

    And your gif’s were the bomb. I snorted at my desk.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your snark and recaps with the whole wide world and me.

    Melinda AnnReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Thank you…thank you very much. *bowing*
      I agree that Whitney will make a cute farm wife. She certainly seems to be over the moon about the entire package deal. I’m just so, so happy she found a nice family to feel a part of again. You could tell that was missing in her life. Sad.
      Did not notice the hand kissing, but yeah, that’s odd. Maybe he was just so nervous. Or maybe that’s Iowa for hello.
      Thanks for being on this JOURNEY with me. 😉ReplyCancel

  • Snarkfest - Another season over. I will miss these recaps and as God as my witness I will never watch the show. There’s no way on God’s green earth that the show will EVER be as good as your recaps.

    That being said, I can’t wait to see what you have in store for DWTS AND I also am really looking forward to Satisfaction!! When I read your Satisfaction recaps, THE WEATHER WILL BE WARM!!!!ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Whoa whoa whoa….let’s take one show at a time there sister. 😉
      As always, THANK YOU for reading this nonsense. And thanks for hopping aboard the DWTS train. I’ll need all the support I can get over there with this one. I have a feeling I might get skewered. 😛ReplyCancel

  • NinaN - Well that really wasn’t a surprise ending, was it? I also recall noticing that Chris seemed to suddenly become very smart/focused/articulate when he was questioning Becca on their last date. Weirdly so. And he didn’t resort to his usual tactic of “I don’t know what to say so I’ll just ram my tongue down her throat.” I also was starting to think that they were trying to set Becca up as the next Bachelorette and that’s what the huge shocker was going to be.ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - Oh my lord that would have been a monumental mistake. The virgin as The Bachelorette?!? Pretty sure openness to gettin’ busy is a requirement!
      She’s lovely, sweet, and has great self-respect, but I don’t think she’d say more than three words to any of her dates. Personality is lacking just a bit, don’t you think?
      Thanks for coming along on the journey. 😉 Appreciate you reading, liking, and commenting!! :)ReplyCancel

  • Judy George - Everything you’ve said about Becca totally resonates with me. So she’s never been in love before and doesn’t know what it feels like – well, a clue would be if she truly wasn’t willing to say goodbye – the fact that she could, without very much emotion, told me she’s not in love with him but I totally respect her for her honesty. I was very surprised that Chris didn’t take BOTH of them for the last date in Arlington (since obviously there is not much budgeted this time around and all TPTB could think was “farm – farm – farm” – I’m from a family of farmers and trust me, they DO go to fun places!) She was probably picturing some little shack amidst all the farm bldgs and animals – his house is awesome and he shared with Whitney how many farms he owns alone and with family. For me it was a dead giveaway when that’s where he took Whitney – although I’ve thought, also, from the start, she was most likely “to succeed”. Arlington may be tiny but it’s only 21 miles from Manchester where there is a 39 bed hospital – as she said – nurses can find work anywhere – 21 miles in IA will take her all of about 15 minutes – all country driving and probably less time than to your major city—–! I’m always hopeful that there will be some more graduates of the show that can make it. But 2 bachelorettes? And that will work……how? And didn’t Britt look 100% better last night? I always loved Katelin and was thinking that maybe the “shock” of the After The Rose was that Chris rethought everything and wanted her instead! Will definitely be watching for your DWTS recaps – so far the cast doesn’t look awesome but I usually think that!ReplyCancel

  • Kayla Lechtenberger Bohlen - Bonus Points!!!! That’s so Raven! I too was fascinated by the large number of drills hanging on the wall of the barn. I’ve also never seen a second place “winner” so happy to excite stage left. You always crack me up. Can’t wait to see what you have to say about DWTS.ReplyCancel

  • OneFunnyMotha.com - I think your idea for the show’s winner is the best one I’ve ever heard for that show – who will live there & not try to escape. Loved you’re husband’s commentary.

    How long do you give them? It’s a little sad that he picked what looked like the best option.ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - My husband has been my Bachelor-lovin’ sidekick since season 1, I don’t know if that’s a sign that we’re soul mates or just insane. 😛
      I actually think these two might just make it. She seems very gung ho to get on the farm and be part of a family. The only thing I can’t get past is that they seem to be very different – personality wise. BUT they both love a good glass of whisky, so there’s that.ReplyCancel

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