 I know, I know. Those of you who read these recaps are pissed that it’s late. But since I spent much of my time yesterday writing a recap that only 30 people read (sadly, stats don’t lie), and since I stayed up until midnight last night watching an episode and a half of Gilmore Girls after watching […]  If you’re expecting to read much about our fair and lovely Bachelorette JoJo in this recap, you might as well move on along, because she was barely in this episode at all. But if you’re expecting to read about that jackwad Chad, an Erectile Dysfunction Specialist with a death wish, and ABC-sponsored PORN, then welcome! You’ve […]
 Nick. Wes. Justin. Bad news Bently: When these guys were on The Bachelorette in seasons past we thought they were the worst. But there’s a new villain in town, and you guys, this one really is. He’s horrible. He’s an alpha male superdouche. He’s cocky and arrogant and I’m pretty sure verbally abuses anything that isn’t […]
 It’s that time of year again, folks. Time for gluttony and indulgence and feeling like shit about yourself when you wake up in the morning and realize how you spent your evening. That’s right, it’s The Bachelorette season. But while it’s easy to feel guilt over the two hours of your life you sacrifice each week, […]  Welcome to another season of Bachelorette recaps! And big congratulations to Jordan and JoJo! See ya in January, folks, g’night! But really. I think we can all agree that Aaron Rodgers’ brother Jordan already has this thing tied up. But, alas, the road to true love via reality television isn’t that easy, and despite JoJo […]
 Two years ago my daughter was about to leave the nest. The soft, feathered, built-painstakingly-by-hand nest I’d created for her since the moment I knew she existed. Fine, her father helped…but still. I knew I needed to tell her all the things before she left, but didn’t feel like I needed to write one of the […]  It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday… Damn song. This morning Thing 2 gave me that fun little ear worm and for the past hour and a half it’s been EATING AWAY AT MY BRAIN. Partyin’, partyin’, yeah! Partyin’, partyin’, yeah! It’s okay. I’ll get her back later by singing “It’s a Small World” […]  Hold onto your cocktails and ditch your dignity, you guys, we’re T minus 11 days until The Bachelorette premiere! Since I had to cut my recaps short with Bachelor Ben (who is happily—and shockingly—still firmly committed to flying into the sunset with Wings (check out her ridiculous Instagram pics — and by ridiculous I mean adorable)) I’m […]  Two years ago my daughter’s high school graduation was looming, and I was panicking. My hairdresser had inadvertently given my hair a Kardashian ombre look, I couldn’t find a new dress that was the perfect blend of “this is an important enough event for me to actually wear a dress” and “but it doesn’t look […]  May is my favorite month. Sure, I like to tell July that it’s the best and that I wish its days would last forever, but that’s usually just to butter it up so it gives me at least 25 perfect days of hot-but-not-too-hot weather, weekends at the lake with low humidity and no wind, mosquitoes […] |
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NinaN - Thank you for taking the time to write these recaps! I do worry for your mental health though….
Michelle - Eh, by now — 14 years in — there’s really no hope for my mental health. 😛 Thanks for always reading!!
Teri Biebel - Hold up. I’m only halfway through and you do this:
‘JoJo is telling Rapersberger who her favorites are.
He hugs her, wishes her the best, and then rapes her.”
I need to go change my pants before I finish the rest. Because pee.
Amy - 6 = number of times I literally laughed out loud reading this recap. Thanks for writing!
Michelle - 2 = number of glasses of wine I will cheers you with later tonight for laughing and reading.
1 = number of great big virtual hug I’m sending you.
Julia - I have never watched an episode of either The Bachelor or The Bachelorette but I do love your recaps. Of course, they remind me of why I have never tuned in…hilarious. Thanks for taking one for the team.
Michelle - Smart woman. Live the hours of my life I’m losing well for me, m’kay?? Thanks so much for reading!!