Settle down, friends. This isn’t a real recap. But since my crew and I just got caught up on the three episodes we missed while we were in London (although I already knew who’d been SHOCKINGLY cut — thanks a LOT Chris Harrison’s Facebook feed and my stupid compulsion for scrolling social media while taking advantage […]

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  • Snarkfest - Looking forward to the finale! I wonder who she’ll pick???


    Thanks for always making me laugh with these recaps. <3ReplyCancel

  • Judy - OMG – I was so afraid you’d be so caught up in London “stuff” that you wouldn’t take time to fill us in —— so that I can agree and disagree! Robby and Jordan – I hate their hair (sorry – redundant, I know but……) – I hate Robby’s more than Jordans but that’s not the only reason for my Robby distaste. What on earth does she see in him that would make her turn Luke and, more importantly even, Chase, down? Of the hometowns, Luke and Chase were the more memorable and “real” to me, but then I’m biased against both Robby and Jordan.

    I so wish ABC and TPTB would come up with new “non-scripts”. Kaitlyn’s heart was beating out of her chest in every cameo and JoJo is sick to her stomach in every cameo. What’s the big deal with someone telling her they love her after less than 2 months – that would be my red flag to me – I’d want someone who could see building that relationship over time out from under America’s prying eyes.

    Did you get to see The Men Tell All segment? Loved it! Especially the mom standing up in the audience – won’t say more in case you still have it to watch! ABC would absolutely love love love to have Chad as the next bachelor – wouldn’t THAT make for some interesting fodder! Watched scenes from Bachelor in Paradise that made me sit up and take notice – Chad is Bad! But he’s that bad boy that girls love to hate and get drawn into for some unknown reason.

    Thanks, Michelle – so sorry there are only 40 of us – but know that we 40 enjoy you tremendously!!!ReplyCancel

  • Sarah H - One of your forty (that would be me) just squeaked with glee when she saw your newest recaps on Facebook feed. Thank you!ReplyCancel

I’m baaack! Sort of. I’m actually writing this high above the Atlantic as we hurtle through the air toward Boston. Yes, Boston. Not Minneapolis as the DIRECT FLIGHT TICKETS we bought state, but Boston. APPARENTLY we’re down a pilot who became violently ill last night and since THE LAW says we can’t make it all […]

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  • Jackie Owen - Thanks for the report! I can live vicariously through you now!ReplyCancel

In a few days we’re headed to London for a week, and you guys, I’m already exhausted. For the past few months I’ve been planning our takeover. Did you get that? For the past few months I’ve been planning our takeover. I’ve read and bookmarked Rick Steve’s advice (to the point where I’m pretty sure […]

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  • Jennifer Joyce McDowell - We just came back from London last week, by far our favorite family vacation. Hamley’s toy store was a huge hit as was the Tower bridge tour.ReplyCancel

  • Snarkfest - I have no doubt that they will come around and love and appreciate all that you’ve done for them to make the trip fantastic. And if they don’t, you can just leave them there.ReplyCancel

  • Erin Hill - Not to add to your itinerary, but I just got back from London last week. We did a muggle walking tour that was pretty fun.. they show you where scenes were filmed and if you’re a big HP fan it’s pretty entertaining. Also, if you can get a reservation – eat breakfast at Duck & Waffle and order the Full Elvis waffle. It’s life changing!ReplyCancel

  • Amy - I want to go on a vacation with you! This sounds exactly like how I plan vacations and my husband just goes along with it with no opinions whatsoever. He doesn’t fully appreciate my very detailed scheduled itinerary spreadsheets 🙂 Can’t wait to hear about your trip!ReplyCancel

  • Jennie Thomas - Totally how I plan and the people who are used to it and have vacationed without me are hooked. I plan beach trips with menus, newsletters to give a list of weather forecasts, tidal schedules, sunrise and sunset times, ideas of places to go each day and historical facts about the area. People new to the trips are kind of put off by the planning…and then become converts halfway through. YOu mean I can just pick up this book and figure out where to eat? We are going to the beach while the tide is coming in, so we need to set up further back…thank you newsletter!ReplyCancel

Let me start this recap with a warning that last night’s episode also should’ve started with: No horses were harmed — or actually violated — in the process.  The fact that I even need to say it tells you pretty much all you need to know about the bizarre events of last night’s episode, but […]

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  • Snarkfest - Horse: WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE?

    “They ride horses and Luke impresses the hell out of JoJo with his mad horse handling skills like making it go.”

    I die.

    Don’t you ever leave me. I swear I’ll find you and force you to write recaps of everything.

    ps….have fun in London. Totally jealous.ReplyCancel

    • Michelle - I love how much joy my bizarre thoughts give you.
      I won’t ever leave YOU, although I can’t promise I’ll be able to recap Luke or James or whoever’s season next winter yet, not because the thought of one of them as Bachelor already bores me to the point of choosing to scoop my cat box instead, but because I don’t know what my other recap writing schedule will look like and I like being able to buy things like cute shoes occasionally, even if it is awesome to be super snarky and be able to say fuck on my blog to drive a point home. 😛ReplyCancel

I don’t know about you, but once the Fourth of July is over, summer feels rushed to me. On paper, it’s ridiculous and erroneous, I realize, as we aren’t technically even halfway through it yet, but in my mind — especially this year — I start to panic. Panic over our dog days ending. Or […]

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  • Nikki Etheridge Merritt - I feel your pain! Four generations have enjoyed my husband’s family lake house. As our daughter enters high school this year, I’m dreading the busy-ness and not being able to just drop everything to spend the weekend at the lake. Have a wonderful trip!ReplyCancel

Question: Why has Michelle been putting off writing this recap all day and is only starting it now, reluctantly, at 3:00 p.m.? Answer: A.) She had to take her daughter to Driver’s Ed and brought her laptop with her so she could go straight to Starbucks and start the recap B.) She made a rash […]

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  • Snarkfest - “Our emoshinal connecshon and undershanding ish sho deep and reahl an I thinksh I’m who shesh be happier with.”

    I’m wetting myself (clear liquid for sure) over this recap. Athleta is nice, I’ll wait for your recap next Wed. Or Thurs. Or December. Whatever. You’re frickin’ worth it.ReplyCancel

  • Amy - Your Robby description was the best!ReplyCancel

  • Jackie Owen - Recap of your day not writing the recap was the best! Think it might not be new episode Mon. You get a day off!ReplyCancel

  • Judy George - Finally got to watch and love love love your take—-I just giggle all the way thru reading ! I was sorry to see Derek go home—he has the only hair I like. And I just liked his demeanor. So ultimately I really don’t care who JoJo winds up with at this point because of all the people that are left I quite frankly don’t care for any of them and I hate their hair. I don’t like Alex at all, haven’t liked him for quite some time. I really like sweet baby James but I don’t think he stands a chance. I don’t like Jordan and his hair ( yes I know that’s redundant ) and think Robby is a little strange and his hair truly bugs me. I think he wears a toupee. I like Luke but he wrinkles his fore head so strangely and Also—–guess what – – – I hate his hair! So happy to have a venue to talk about my guilty pleasure!ReplyCancel

It’s a tough time to be JoJo. Just when she thinks it’s safe to venture out into the woods without fear of being murdered by an arrogant, volatile ass-hat, she realizes she’s surrounded by them. Things suddenly took an interesting turn, didn’t they? And if you’ve watched this series for more than a couple of seasons, you know […]

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  • Nina - Maybe it’s wrong…..but I kinda love how ABC set up the barbershop with the planted magazine. TV magic.ReplyCancel

  • Kristie Buckner - “Evan who thinks the room is a circle”!!!!! Love it !ReplyCancel

The tragic events that happened in Orlando over the past week — all three of them horrific and unimaginable in their own ways — have left me breathless. Since I’m not the type of person who consumes information to cope (preferring instead to live in an ignorant fog of denial) I’ve been scrolling my newsfeed with […]

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  • Peggy - Same coping mechanism here. Just too horrifying to listen to 24 hour news coverage. Not because I don’t care, but because it’s too upsetting…ReplyCancel

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