I’m not a perfect parent.
Am I raising kids who are polite and respectful and who don’t get in trouble?
Is it because of my parenting?
It shit-sure is.
But don’t get me wrong, now that my kids are older I often forget to make them meals (and by “forget” I mean I choose not to) and have missed the 6 month dentist appointment more than once. Ditto for the well-visit at the doctor.
Relax, they’re fine.
But lately (as in constantly) I’ve observed some parenting styles that have made me shake my head in amazement and that have made me completely understand why much of the youth of America is going to hell in a handcart.
Or my tirade at parents who berate their kids in public?
Some parents are simply gigantic boneheads and just don’t get it.
So I’ve decided to write them yet another letter.
Third time’s a charm, right?

Dear ass-clown parents who do not parent your kids and who make me want to punch you in the groin,
Yes, I’m talking to you idiots who were letting your kids bang on the screen as the credits to “Monster’s University” rolled the other day while you leaned against the wall and chuckled. Glad you found your children’s vandalism hilarious. Glad the theater manager did not and stepped in to lay down some boundaries that you obviously are too much of a jack-hole to do. 
And then when your group of heathens left the theater and ran UP the down escalator and DOWN the up escalator which were both FULL OF PEOPLE, and you, again, stood aside watching and allowing it to happen even when the very important theatre security guard told them to stop, I hope the images of you talking with those children on a telephone from behind a pane of glass one day in the future was floating around your imbecile brain.
I’m also talking to you, jack-tard parents who let your kids fish in the fountains at the mall for pennies, bang repeatedly on the windows at the zoo, or who sit on the bench at the park checking your phone while your bratty kid steals my kid’s shovel and pail in the sandbox. 
How about teaching your children how to behave? How to be respectful? Here’s an idea, maybe if you showed them how it’s done they’d get it. But I guess that’s probably pretty hard to do when you’re living your life like the ass-clown that you are. Don’t argue with me. You are. I’ve seen it mirrored in your urchin children. 
Get your head out of your ass.
Because otherwise, you’re not gonna see me slap your child upside his little unbrushed head.

A lady who cannot understand why people like you were allowed to have children…and keep them. 



  1. Becky on August 19, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    Wow! Really, wow! I think the part that shocks me the most is the movie theater part, but it’s all pretty bad. I would have lost it seeing kids being so disrespectful. My husband and I constantly say to each other that kids who act like that and parents who stand by and watch them have no respect for themselves let alone other people/property.

    So sad to see where this country is headed to!

    • Michelle on August 19, 2013 at 8:36 pm

      So true. Good point about the parents having no respect. And the kids pick right up on that.
      When the whole movie theatre thing happened, my kids were shocked. (Thankfully.)

  2. Kasey Sutgrey on August 19, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    Amen, sista! Some parents have no clue! Manners is def one of the first things that a kid needs to be taught!

    • Michelle on August 19, 2013 at 8:37 pm

      Agree! Manners and respect are everything. But for the kids to have them, the parents do, too, and that seems to be the problem.

  3. Dani Ryan on August 19, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    OMG. I’ve seen a lot of things in my time, but these parents LET their kids fish for pennies?! That’s horrendous. All of it’s horrendous. What is WRONG with people?!

    • Michelle on August 19, 2013 at 8:33 pm

      The grosses thing was that it was an OUTSIDE mall fountain so the water was pretty slimy. Little kid just leaning way over with her butt up in the air while mom stood by scrolling her phone. Even my kids were looking at me as we walked by like WTF??

  4. Chris Dean on August 20, 2013 at 8:23 am

    Since World Awareness Days are so friggin’ “in” right now, I’ve suggested a World “Do Your Damn Job As a Parent” Day. SO far, no one’s gotten on board with it. Maybe if they read your letter it’d help.

    • Michelle on August 20, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      I love it! Where do I sign?!

  5. Wendy Carmon on August 20, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    I think we could start a club…. a we hate stupid parents club! I was beginning to think I was the one with the problem. I see this type of behavior all.the.time. I mean seriously ~ having expectations of kids to actually behave. Oh my gosh, that is soooo mean. My kids aren’t going to like me anymore. Ugh… grow up!

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  9. Lisa Notarile Lawrence on September 12, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    You’re better than I. I encounter obnoxious, misbehaving kids daily on the subway going in to work and I will say something if that kid is kicking my leg or trying to read my erotica on my tablet over my shoulder or when they insist on running around the subway car screaming. Oh, yes, I will speak. First the parent gets the Sicilian death glare then the child gets a reprimand from me for getting up in personal space. I’m sorry, if you can’t control child from kicking, touching or doing whatever to me, then I will…right in front of your face. Go ahead, get pissed I chastised your little darlings in front of you. I dare you because the chastisement I gave them is nothing compared to the chastisement I will give you.

  10. Diane E on September 12, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    Couldn’t agree more. It’s amazing what parents allow their kids to get away with nowadays…and then we wonder why they are in jail, welfare, or smooching off others later in life. Love reading your letters!

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