A few weeks ago someone on Facebook shared an article called, “7 Phrases That Will Make Your Partner Feel Loved & Respected.”

I’m gonna be honest.
I only clicked on the link because I thought (hoped) it was going to be a sarcastic and smart-ass article.
It wasn’t.

According to the article, “when you feel heard, loved and respected from the person you’re in a committed relationship with, you’re in total harmony with your union.”

I’m not kidding.
Someone really used the phrase, “total harmony with your union” in a sentence.
Are you done puking?
Too bad, because there’s more.

The article also tells you that just saying the words isn’t enough, they “must be offered from a place of truth and authenticity” which will make your partner “feel instantly uplifted” and make you “feel good that you shared a loving, powerful, and connecting truth!”

A “connecting truth?”
Bring back my bucket.

Here’s the phrases:
• “What can I get you?”
• “I’m so grateful you’re in my life.”
• “You are beautiful inside and out.”
• “Thank you for all that you do.”
• “You turn me on.” (Which you are only supposed to say when you expect nothing in return. Hold on, I have to laugh for 14 years.)
• “I am so in love with you.”
• “I am here for you always.”

Before I continue, let me offer a disclaimer of sorts:

Of course I acknowledge that the above phrases are important messages for your partner to receive. I’m just not the type of person who could deliver one of them with “truth and authenticity” without either spitting in my husband’s face with laughter or vomiting all over his shoes. Neither of which would drive home the point of the words I was speaking.

I’ve been happily married for 20 years, and in a relationship with the person I married for 25. Obviously, there have been moments where one of us hasn’t felt heard, and plenty of moments when we make damn sure of it. But over the past quarter of a century (which makes it sound so much more, doesn’t it?) I’ve always felt loved and respected and beautiful and appreciated not as much by things that are said, but by actions; by things that are done (i.e., cleaning the kitchen, doing his own laundry, not complaining about eating cereal for dinner…again, etc.)

And while actions are certainly important, I do agree that it’s equally vital for your relationship to verbalize messages of respect and love; in our house we just go about it in different ways.

So here’s my version of the list.

7 real phrases that over the past 20+ years have made me feel loved and respected, without making me bolt for the toilet.

7 Real Phrases



  1. Meghan on September 25, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    Yeah those top ones made me want to barf and I’m single! Those bottom seven sound heavenly though!

  2. Dani Ryan on September 27, 2013 at 7:20 pm

    Whenever my husband is sick, he sleeps on the couch because he doesn’t want to get me sick OR keep me up all night with his blocked-nose-snoring. But he doesn’t expect me to do the same in return when I’m sick (well, maybe he wants me to, but I never offer and he never suggests it). It’s something so small, but I appreciate it!

  3. Elizabeth Catalano on October 2, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    LOL. I agree. “Bring back my bucket” and “I have to laugh for 14 years” made me laugh out loud in the same way saying any of those things to my husband would. He’d never take me seriously. haha. Found you commenting on Cloudy’s site. Will follow. Thanks for the laughs.

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