I’m gonna be honest.
I only clicked on the link because I thought (hoped) it was going to be a sarcastic and smart-ass article.
According to the article, “when you feel heard, loved and respected from the person you’re in a committed relationship with, you’re in total harmony with your union.”
I’m not kidding.
Someone really used the phrase, “total harmony with your union” in a sentence.
Are you done puking?
Too bad, because there’s more.
The article also tells you that just saying the words isn’t enough, they “must be offered from a place of truth and authenticity” which will make your partner “feel instantly uplifted” and make you “feel good that you shared a loving, powerful, and connecting truth!”
A “connecting truth?”
Bring back my bucket.
Here’s the phrases:
• “What can I get you?”
• “I’m so grateful you’re in my life.”
• “You are beautiful inside and out.”
• “Thank you for all that you do.”
• “You turn me on.” (Which you are only supposed to say when you expect nothing in return. Hold on, I have to laugh for 14 years.)
• “I am so in love with you.”
• “I am here for you always.”
Before I continue, let me offer a disclaimer of sorts:
I’ve been happily married for 20 years, and in a relationship with the person I married for 25. Obviously, there have been moments where one of us hasn’t felt heard, and plenty of moments when we make damn sure of it. But over the past quarter of a century (which makes it sound so much more, doesn’t it?) I’ve always felt loved and respected and beautiful and appreciated not as much by things that are said, but by actions; by things that are done (i.e., cleaning the kitchen, doing his own laundry, not complaining about eating cereal for dinner…again, etc.)
And while actions are certainly important, I do agree that it’s equally vital for your relationship to verbalize messages of respect and love; in our house we just go about it in different ways.
So here’s my version of the list.
7 real phrases that over the past 20+ years have made me feel loved and respected, without making me bolt for the toilet.