It’s time.

This is how I’ve been living my life since September.

warp speed

Parents of current or former high school seniors will understand.

While it’s true that I’ve spent the past two or three years (over)thinking this time in our lives, nothing I imagined could have prepared me for how fast it came flying at — and by — me.

My daughter will graduate high school in four weeks.

Four weeks. 

It might as well be four hours.

The past month have been a blur of lasts, and in the next three weeks we’ll experience many more. The last choir competition, concert and awards presentation. The final curtain of the final musical. The last AP test, parent-teacher conference, and final exam. Prom. The last last day of school.

All these lasts have been flying at us fast and furiously, which is probably a blessing in disguise as we haven’t had a moment to stop and let the implications of them all sink in.

And while all the the emotions may be thisclose to overwhelming me, I get it. I fully understand and appreciate the fact that this is life, and believe me, am thankful for all of it — even the painful parts. I am. But that doesn’t — and shouldn’t — minimize the fact that it’s hard. Hard to close the door on the biggest and best part of my life: the raising of my child.

Will I continue to give her my solicited — and unsolicited — advice? Absolutely.
(If my own mother is a barometer for how long that lasts, I’ll be doing that until I’m in my 70’s, at least.)

But it will be different. Getting her to appointments, reminding her to take her allergy medicine, making sure she eats something other than Goldfish and microwave popcorn, tucking her in — all things I’m almost finished doing.
And by ‘almost finished doing,’ I of course am lying.
I realize as a mother you never get to finish anything.

Thank God for FaceTime.
And text.
And Facebook.
And Twitter.
And Google chat.
And SnapChat.
And Instagram.

Hell, I might actually have more contact with her after she moves away than I do now.

It gnaws at you, though, this feeling of finality. Especially when it’s your first child who’s leaving the nest that you’ve taken such pains and care to feather. And I know that she’s ready. And I couldn’t be prouder of and more excited for her. But thinking about the monumental change that is about to occur in our comfortable little nest? The intensity of that thought is staggering. In all honesty, I don’t know how to act; how to handle it. With a few bottles of good Cabernet, is really the only thing I’ve come up with.

I’m trying to get perspective, though, and trying to start to accept the things I cannot change and embrace the future.

Because although it may be true that I’m currently living in a world of lasts, there’s a whole lot of firsts up ahead.

But now, after the years of trying to avoid the fact that it will happen, it’s time.
Time to pull my seatbelt tighter and hold on.
Or maybe — more importantly —  to start to let go.

my wish


  1. sheli on April 30, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    oh how bittersweet it is! Reading this just brought back that roller coaster ride for me, and I’m not ashamed to say I am teary. What an amazing, exciting, and exhausting time that was and I have to say I wish I could remember more of it. The last half of my son’s senior year is a total blur, so my (unsolicited) advice to you is to try and slow down when you can and enjoy as much of it as you can. It’s been five years now since he left the nest (he is an only child) and I’m just now getting used to it.

    While the chapter of your daughter’s life that you authored is ending, you now get a front row seat to the first chapter that she gets to create and let me tell you, it’s amazing to watch! There is nothing like watching them build on the foundation you laid – whether you like what they’re building or not. You will adjust (eventually) to your new role in her life, and those little moments where it’s made evident to you that you’re not the most important person in her life anymore will hit like a ton a bricks, but she will ALWAYS need you.

    Congratulations on raising an amazing young woman who will make a mark on this world that cannot be erased!

    • Michelle on May 1, 2014 at 1:45 pm

      Great. Now you’ve made me cry. 😉 What a lovely, lovely comment! Thank you!! <3

  2. Karen on April 30, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    It’s like you are reading my mind…I’m in the same time warp with my son. A lot of lasts and some exciting firsts. The madness of prom (do you have promposals? crazy kids these days!). If you figure out a way to slow down this “last” upcoming summer, please share.

    • Michelle on May 1, 2014 at 1:42 pm

      Summer will fly. I sort of feel like it’s already gone with all the plans for orientation and getting ready to move, etc. :O Let’s keep our eyes on the ‘firsts’ shall we??

  3. Bev Bell Draughon on April 30, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    When my first child left for college I had those same feelings….Thankfully he got married within a couple of years so I didn’t have to worry about him ‘taking his medicine’ and eating decent….but.. the day he drove out of my driveway I cried like there was no tomorrow…My boy….and you know what.. He is almost 40 and still hugs the daylights out of me….. I think he would still let me rock him on my lap if we weren’t both so much bigger….LOL….. I can tell from all of your posts that you will have a forever friendship with your girls….but yes, it is dang tough to let them go….

    • Michelle on May 1, 2014 at 1:47 pm

      I love that comment. Brings to mind the picture book called, “Love You Forever.” Have you ever read it? If not, you should. I think you’d like it! Thanks (as always) for your kind words!! xo

  4. Marcia @ Menopausal Mother on May 2, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    This is so sweet and poignant. I can relate—three of mine have already left the nest. One left to go. I actually DID get closer to my oldest daughter after she moved to Orlando (three hours away). She now calls 2-3 times a day just to chat. I’m betting your relationship will get even better and stronger. XO

  5. […] more posts on letting my daughter go (and by ‘posts’ I mean my therapy sessions), click HERE […]

  6. […] the face of my daughter’s graduation and her impending departure from our little nest, I wrote a short post (one of my favorites) about how quickly time was flying by, and how, although I understood it to […]

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