It seems that lately everyone’s bingeing.
I’m not talking about with Two Buck Chuck or Kettle Chips or Mini M&Ms (because I certainly wouldn’t know anything about that); I’m talking about television.
You know you’re doing it.
And just like drinking too much cheap Chardonnay or eating the entire bag of Salt & Vinegars, you know you regret it every morning after.
What’s your drug of choice?
Orange is the New Black? Breaking Bad? The Office? Scandal?
Doesn’t matter. If you’re bingeing, either by watching on Netflix or from watching a boxed set or by taping a few weeks of current shows and saving them, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
You tell yourself you’ll watch just one episode — maybe two — and then you’ll get to bed at a reasonable hour.
But just like in college, or last weekend when you were offered that second (or third) margarita, you ignore the voice of reason and give in.
You become so absorbed in wondering if Piper is going to get shanked or if Walter is going to die or if Jim and Pam will ever get together that before you know it you’ve watched five episodes and it’s 3 a.m. and your alarm (or your toddler) is gonna start shrieking in two and a half hours.
And then the next day you have to endure the hangover.
Your head is throbbing, filled with confusing thoughts of lesbian cell mates or crooked presidents. Your stomach feels a bit queasy from too much middle of the night microwave popcorn and inappropriate beverage choices. You look like hell from lack of sleep and little care for morning grooming. Your speech is often times incomprehensible and you find yourself giving your friends prison nicknames. And the only thought that’s getting you through the day is when you can get your next fix.
You promise yourself that as soon as you get through all six seasons of this show, you’ll quit bingeing. Cold turkey. You will not start another show. You’ll go back to the way things used to be and watch a show live! You’ll cancel you subscription to Netflix! You’ll get to bed at a reasonable hour, stop drinking so much wine and cut out carbs and sugar from your diet!
But then your friend tells you about Homeland.
And you discover all the seasons are streaming.
And, just like all the times before, you forget the pain and all the promises, open a bottle of wine, pop some popcorn and settle in for a long night.
OK, spill it. What show/s are you binge watching? Mine is almost over and I hear sleep is overrated.
*A version of this post originally appeared on the site In The Powder Room.