Santa’s Little Helpers III

Santa's Little Helpers 3

♫ It’s that time of year … when the world falls in love … every song you hear seems to say … 
have a martini. ♫

OK, fine, it doesn’t, but it should.  Because there’s nothing that puts the jolly in your holly (just go with it) and takes the occasional grinchies away quite like a fancy martini.

Or two.

martini gif Karen

In keeping with the tradition of giving—and with the tradition on this blog—I’m once again offering some libations to assist you in maximizing your holiday merriment … or, let’s be real, just as a means to cope for the next month.

From the original Santa’s Little Helpers two years ago (with favorite classics like the YMFT mascot Appletini, Chocotini, and the Cosmo) to Santa’s Little Helpers II last year (with snazzy creations like a pomegranate cosmo and a peppermint chocotini), I’ve had your back.

I’ll be honest, though, as of a few weeks ago this year’s edition was in serious jeopardy. Since I’ve already shared my go-to (Appletini … always the Appletini) I’ll admit I was initially at a loss this year as to what I’d share. But then I went to The Yardhouse one night and, feeling fancy, ordered a martini. You guys, it was as if Santa himself was bartending. I took one sip of the cheerful red concoction he placed in front of me and I swear to god, the freaking Trans-Siberian Orchestra began seeping from my pores.

Delicious. Delightful. Dangerous.
What more could you ask for during the holidays?

So ready your Pin-It finger, cancel your plans for the evening, call your husband/wife/partner/of-age child and tell them to stop at the liquor store, and double check your Advil supply; these featured creations will have you decking your halls and better yet, thinking you can dance.

amy poehler dancing


The Ruby Red

Ruby Red martini title

This sweet, tangy elixir might have originally been thanks to that bartender-slash-elf magician at The Yardhouse, but I’ve tweaked it a bit to take a little of the sting out of it.

If you’ve been following the SLH posts you might remember that while I love me a martini, I’m not a fan of my throat, sinuses and eyes burning—which is why I’m not a dirty girl and keep things sweet. (As far as martinis go. Ba dum bum.)

Ruby Red martini2

Don’t let the name—or the ingredients—of this one fool you. While it uses a couple of grapefruit-flavored items, it really doesn’t have a distinctive grapefruit taste.

Ruby Red martini

The Ruby Red Martini
1 part* Grapefruit flavored vodka (I used Skyy, but there are a bunch)
1/2 part* Cointreau or Triple Sec (basically the same thing)
1/2 part* DeKuyper Pomegranate
Heavy splash of Ruby Red Grapefruit juice
(add more juice to your liking)

*Remember! “Part” can mean whatever amount you choose, so you might have to do some math (which is why the first one will taste better than the second one).
Example—For the martini in the photo, which is a normal sized drink, I used:
2 oz. vodka
1 oz. Cointreau
1 oz. DeKuyper Pomegranate
Probably 1 oz. Ruby Red

Pour all ingredients in a shaker and shake and shake until your arms ache. (And yes, I do chant that fun rhyme while I’m shaking.)

I know I showed you this Tervis tumbler with a handy martini lid in the original Santa’s Little Helpers post a couple of years ago, but it’s still my very favorite.


They also make them with measurements right on the cup so you can save a shot glass, but I like this happy one. Besides, I wouldn’t want to put my favorite shot glass out of work.

Ruby Red martinit

Doesn’t this just make you want to chug it down in three gulps?
It’s delicious, no question, but Miss Ruby Red is deceiving and dangerous.
Treat her with respect or she’ll kick your ass.
Trust me on this.

The Razzlegranate


Either a supremely fancy name or a ridiculously stupid one, but since I made it up I’m gonna stick with fancy … and throw in fabulous while I’m at it.

In my quest to find a second recipe for this year’s SLH post and because I’m a huge fan of their products, I trolled the DeKuyper website for a minute or 28 and discovered a veritable rainbow of flavors so delectable-sounding that I considered ditching this writing gig and becoming a bartender.

But then I remembered that would mean I couldn’t partake in the delectabilities (add it to Urban Dictionary) so I reconsidered.

For the record, I was researching these recipes on Wednesday night, which, despite what you might think, is most definitely not a martini night in this house. But in the interest of tradition—and my selfless support of your holiday aid—I pressed on. My glass was just smaller than usual.


I call this glass my tiny-tini, and yes, I did have to wipe out a layer of dust from the inside before I used it.

The Razzlegranate is similar to The Ruby Red in sweetness, but has a definite raspberry kick. It’s delightful (but truth be told, I liked it a lot better before my husband mentioned the words cough syrup in his description).

I found this recipe on the DeKuyper website and, as usual, tweaked the amounts. Do what you need to do to get it to your liking, but beware, all those sips you take while you’re adjusting and readjusting totally count, no matter how much you try to convince yourself they don’t.


The Razzlegranate
1 ½ oz. Citron vodka

¾ oz. Razzmatazz
¾ oz. pomegranate
small splash sweet and sour


With both of these sweet drinks in your arsenal—especially if you add them to all the recipes from the first two posts—you’ll have no excuse not to make it through the holidays full of spirit … and spirits.


And as always, I’ll leave you with this final request: please please please drink responsibly.
Your dancing, on the other hand? Let that shit go.

Farley dance


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