Today the little blog turns 5-years-old.
They grow up so fast, don’t they?
For the past few years I’ve written blogiversary posts about what new developments the year has brought the blog &/or me as a writer.
This year I’ve got nothing.
It’s a lot like with your kids.
You know, when they’re first born and toddlers you take pictures and document everything, but by the time they’re teenagers you may or may not take the first day of school photo on the second day.
But really, I’ve kind of hit a wall with my writing, and yes, even with my interest in it.
And lord knows I’m way too old to do anything that I don’t have an interest in anymore.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy telling and sharing stories and favorites* with the handful of you who have either been with me from the beginning or stumbled upon the blog during a search for “what I did my summer vacation” or “Rodan and Fields Lash Boost” or “letter when my kid is home sick” (seriously, those are the most recent popular search terms that lead to my blog … just as I always dreamed).
*See links at end of post for my favorites from the year.
No, what it is, quite frankly, is that I feel like I’ve already said it all.
I find myself thinking, “Ooh! That’s a good idea for a blog post!” only to realize as I start typing that the words are sounding awfully familiar. One quick check to my posts archive tells me all I need to know: I’ve told you the story before.
It’s tough when you realize you’re becoming your mother.
This past year brought a big change to my writing, a change I’d have never seen coming a few years ago when I was on a roll and opportunities were popping.
And then kind of stopped.
I no longer write recaps for EW.com (budget cuts and lack of shows for freelancers led to a gradual halt, which TBH I was gradually okay with — writing recaps gets old, gradually, no matter who it’s for).
I haven’t been published on an outside site in months (I feel like I’ve told all my stor— oh, wait, have I already mentioned that??)
And if it’s not Bachelor season I only really update the blog a few times a month anymore, because as the blog has aged, it, too, has evolved. I no longer feel the need to write about daily or weekly happenings in my life — which I did in the beginning — or give you unsolicited favorites on a weekly basis (you’re welcome).
If I’d have known those things a few years ago I know I’d have been sad.
But here’s the thing.
Is it because I don’t care anymore?
Not at all.
Sure, maybe writing isn’t as important a part of my life as it was a few years ago, but as the years fly by with alarming speed I see how absolutely fluid life is, and I’m both thankful and at peace with things changing. Relatively speaking, of course.
Because here’s the thing. Things may be changing, but they’re evolving.
I’m evolving in ways I never expected.
I got a job this past year.
In retail, for crying out loud.
As in, having nothing to do with writing.
And listen, no one is more shocked about the way that’s turned out than me.
Do I still consider myself a writer?
I mean, I look at it this way: when my kids are grown will I still consider myself a mother?
In my mind, being a writer isn’t an occupation, it’s simply just who I am. Over the past five years writing has become part of me — as much as my failing eyesight and increasing skin tags. I can’t just decide to stop, or to turn it off, and I won’t.
So cheers to 5 years, YMFT! You know I’ll be toasting you tonight with a classic YMFT Appletini for all the amazing and unexpected things you’ve brought to my life.
Some things don’t change, no matter how many years go by.
As always, thanks for reading.
You’re my favorite today.
*Apparently year two was a lost year. I blame Obama.
Favorite posts from the past year ~
47 … I guess
Almost Famous, Part 2 (or, fangirling and videobombing)
The Father I Never Had
A Letter To My Daughters On Their First Day of School
Cheers to 21 Years!
Dear Daughter who is going to Australia