I’ve been a rule follower my entire life, and ironically it’s a character trait that hasn’t done me any favors. Sure, it’s kept me out of the principal’s office, jail, and rehab, and I’ve never worried about a scary phone call from my landlord, or the IRS, but weirdly, playing by the rules hasn’t always…

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I know it sounds cliché but I’m having a hard time grasping that in matter of hours it will be the year 2020. Where are the flying cars? Where is my robot maid? Sure, I carry a tiny computer in my purse that connects me to anyone anywhere (although rarely by voice), instantly answers any…

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This week my husband and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary, which, especially now that I see it in black and white on my screen, is a something I’m having a hard time believing can possibly be true. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the fact that we’re still together 26 years later that’s making…

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Graduation is less than a month away, and I’m sorting through a box full of old, random photos that date back to 2001, the year my daughter was born. As if that’s not enough to make me actually feel my heart pound outside of my body, her 18th birthday is this week. It’s like I…

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If YMFT’s loyal readers know anything about me by now — besides the fact that the circumference of my head is the same as a prize-winning watermelon, that I only use Citron vodka in my Appletinis, and that I will not cook anything that has more than eight ingredients in its recipe — it’s the…

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Life lately: two little words that can mean a multitude of things, depending on the situation … the day … even the moment. I’m happy to report that for me, life lately is anything but exciting. Yeah, you read that right: happy that my life lately is not exciting. Or eventful. Or remarkable.   With…

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I never had a Cabbage Patch Kid. I think maybe it was because in the early 80’s when they really took off and became popular I was too old to play with dolls. Or maybe it was because they were ugly as shit. Whichever it was, the fact that I was never a fan became…

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This week my younger daughter will turn 16, and I’m not entirely sure it’s hit me yet. I believe you’ve met my trusty sidekick Denial, whom I’ve been thick as thieves with since about 2013. Listen, I know it must sound tired and cliché and completely uninspired to yet again be lamenting the passing of time here on…

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Dear daughters, Today you both start another year of school. For the third year in a row it will be in separate states, and for the 15th year in a row I’ll spend the day trying not to drink my feelings be overwhelmed with feelings that, if allowed, will engulf me. Feelings that surprisingly (or…

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My girls are now 20 and 15, and for every year I’ve been their mother I’ve been envious of them.Is it because of their youth and the years of possibility they have in front of them? Obviously.Is it their thick, luxurious heads of hair? Since their births are the reason I lost mine, absolutely (and…

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